Work, and almost GIP
Jul. 26th, 2004 11:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeI've taken on a whackload of new responsibilities at work, and thus my anxiety levels have gone through the roof.
Had two migraines last week, and last night suffered my first anxiety attack since... March, I think.
I kept dreaming that my bosses had come into my apartment and had seen how messy it was, and were going to fire me. The reasoning behind that was: if I couldn't keep my place clean, how could I do a good job at work? The weird part is that in my dream I was convinced that the apartment had been provided by the people at work, and once I awoke it took me a long time to remember/convince myself that I've been living here much longer than I've been at that job, and that there's no way they could have a key to my apartment. In my dreams I didn't see them, but rather I found notes that they left next to my bed.
I woke up completely unable to breathe, my heart lodged firmly under my epiglottis (is that how you spell that?) and doing its level best to explode, or so it felt. Stupid racing heartbeat. I practically fell out of bed three or four times, trying to read the "notes" that had been left for me, in one of my typical half-dreaming states. I hate those. They're so much harder to snap out of than full dreams.
I was unable to shake the feeling of intense anxiety completely throughout the rest of the day, which was really annoying. I kept jumping and starting at every loud noise which, in my workplace, means I was jumping and starting a *lot*.
I'm better now, but that better not re-occur tonight.
I shall go into details about my new responsibilities tomorrow, perhaps. For now, I'm heading to bed.
Had two migraines last week, and last night suffered my first anxiety attack since... March, I think.
I kept dreaming that my bosses had come into my apartment and had seen how messy it was, and were going to fire me. The reasoning behind that was: if I couldn't keep my place clean, how could I do a good job at work? The weird part is that in my dream I was convinced that the apartment had been provided by the people at work, and once I awoke it took me a long time to remember/convince myself that I've been living here much longer than I've been at that job, and that there's no way they could have a key to my apartment. In my dreams I didn't see them, but rather I found notes that they left next to my bed.
I woke up completely unable to breathe, my heart lodged firmly under my epiglottis (is that how you spell that?) and doing its level best to explode, or so it felt. Stupid racing heartbeat. I practically fell out of bed three or four times, trying to read the "notes" that had been left for me, in one of my typical half-dreaming states. I hate those. They're so much harder to snap out of than full dreams.
I was unable to shake the feeling of intense anxiety completely throughout the rest of the day, which was really annoying. I kept jumping and starting at every loud noise which, in my workplace, means I was jumping and starting a *lot*.
I'm better now, but that better not re-occur tonight.
I shall go into details about my new responsibilities tomorrow, perhaps. For now, I'm heading to bed.
