There's almost too much to write about
Apr. 24th, 2004 12:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeI have come to the odd realization that, while I still like reading my friends list and in no way extend this judgment to anyone else, I've come to view my LiveJournal as something quite trivial, on the whole.
This is probably one of those passing things, yet another phase in the ever-changing landscape of my mind. I really, really wish my brain would settle down into a nice, stable pattern, a recognizable pattern so that I wouldn't have to go chasing after normalcy like a kicked dog chases after an indifferent master.
So much is happening around me that's so much bigger than I am, that it seems selfish to be concerned with my own petty little problems right now. I expect that's the real problem, not LiveJournal itself. I rather think that my own concerns are trivial compared with what's happening to everyone else.
The following is very, very disjointed. You've been warned.
My friends' mother just passed away. I've only ever met![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
longpig and elanya in person once each, but we've talked online often, been in games together, and I'm good friends with their good friends. I wish I could be there with them. There's nothing I can do, of course, but sometimes just being there is something. Instead I'm hundreds of kilometers away and for once words, my best tool at all times, are failing me. A screen can't offer comfort, which is what I want to give.
On the complete opposite end of the spectrum,karine and her husband are expecting a baby, which is incredible. I don't have much of a maternal instinct, and what little I do have is mostly lavished on my cats. I expect that in the next few months I'll be putting my foot in my mouth more than a few times by saying the wrong thing or not responding to the right baby cue, but I'll muddle along as best I can and hope for forbearance on the part of those whose instincts for motherhood are a little more developed than mine.
My uncle's brain surgery didn't go well at all. From what I was able to gather second-hand from my father, the attempt to shrink the aneurysm through the veins didn't work, so now they have to actually cut open his skull and work on open brain tissue, which they were hoping they wouldn't have to do. Needless to say, my uncle still hasn't officially told any of his family about this. My aunt is still telling my father all of this information on the sly. I wonder if he'll actually reconsider now. I don't know.
My roommate is leaving. She's found herself a job in the U.S. She told me this on Tuesday night, and I think she'll be leaving within the next three weeks or so. I hope it works out for her, in any event.
Normally this latest development would be throwing me for a bit of a loop, but there's the possibility that I might be getting a job. Haven't heard from the place since yesterday, and if I hear back from them I still have to go through at least two more interviews, but it's still a pretty good possibility. A better possibility than before, anyway. I hope it pans out.
This is probably one of those passing things, yet another phase in the ever-changing landscape of my mind. I really, really wish my brain would settle down into a nice, stable pattern, a recognizable pattern so that I wouldn't have to go chasing after normalcy like a kicked dog chases after an indifferent master.
So much is happening around me that's so much bigger than I am, that it seems selfish to be concerned with my own petty little problems right now. I expect that's the real problem, not LiveJournal itself. I rather think that my own concerns are trivial compared with what's happening to everyone else.
The following is very, very disjointed. You've been warned.
My friends' mother just passed away. I've only ever met
longpig and elanya in person once each, but we've talked online often, been in games together, and I'm good friends with their good friends. I wish I could be there with them. There's nothing I can do, of course, but sometimes just being there is something. Instead I'm hundreds of kilometers away and for once words, my best tool at all times, are failing me. A screen can't offer comfort, which is what I want to give.On the complete opposite end of the spectrum,
karine and her husband are expecting a baby, which is incredible. I don't have much of a maternal instinct, and what little I do have is mostly lavished on my cats. I expect that in the next few months I'll be putting my foot in my mouth more than a few times by saying the wrong thing or not responding to the right baby cue, but I'll muddle along as best I can and hope for forbearance on the part of those whose instincts for motherhood are a little more developed than mine.My uncle's brain surgery didn't go well at all. From what I was able to gather second-hand from my father, the attempt to shrink the aneurysm through the veins didn't work, so now they have to actually cut open his skull and work on open brain tissue, which they were hoping they wouldn't have to do. Needless to say, my uncle still hasn't officially told any of his family about this. My aunt is still telling my father all of this information on the sly. I wonder if he'll actually reconsider now. I don't know.
My roommate is leaving. She's found herself a job in the U.S. She told me this on Tuesday night, and I think she'll be leaving within the next three weeks or so. I hope it works out for her, in any event.
Normally this latest development would be throwing me for a bit of a loop, but there's the possibility that I might be getting a job. Haven't heard from the place since yesterday, and if I hear back from them I still have to go through at least two more interviews, but it's still a pretty good possibility. A better possibility than before, anyway. I hope it pans out.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-04-23 09:09 pm (UTC)You gotta do what's best for you... and if it means that LJ falls by the wayside, then so be it.
Then again, maybe I'm not the best person to be giving advice, considering I've pretty much let LJ lapse too.... spending more time reading and commenting than actually posting...
*HUGS* if you want 'em.
C.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-23 09:10 pm (UTC)None of that guilt, now. Go cuddle some kitties.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-24 05:18 pm (UTC)As for putting your foot in your mouth or other such things regarding motherhood or pregnancy or anything related... *snugs* I don't EXPECT any precise words or thoughts or actions from people. I'm new at this whole thing, and several people on my friends list are new at having a friend who's expecting. I'll be talking about it a lot to the point of being nauseating, I expect, but I won't do it to get a response out of my friends... I'll do it because I want to share it, and keep a record for myself as well.
*snugs some more* I hope you get that job!
- Karine
no subject
Date: 2004-04-24 07:58 pm (UTC)Well, I'm very excited for you. :)
I like babies and children. I just have little affinity for them and don't understand them at all. Also, when around other people who have small children of their own I've been known to say apparently appalling things. I can tell by the looks on their faces and the "Um, well..." reactions I tend to get. I don't do it on purpose, mind you, but apparently my mind doesn't work the way a normal parent's mind would. ^_-
Hopefully my enthusiasm will make up for my, err, eccentricity. (Yes, I'm using a kind word, I know.)
no subject
Date: 2004-04-26 07:51 am (UTC)As for children, I think I know what you mean... I've never been good at interacting with the really young. Not sure what kind of parent I'd make.
I'm sorry to hear about your uncle. But I can't see why he'd reconsider doing the operation... if it's the only way, it's the only way. (I, perhaps wrongly, assume living with it would be too problematic.)
Wow. That was a quick turnaround time on your roommate. Well, since it sounds like everyone's good on all fronts, not much more to say.
Good luck on the latest job hunt... What's the job?