Icons and masochism (no, wait, reverse that)

[mousme]

I have to go to my group therapy. The fact that I'd rather shoot myself in the foot or hurl myself into ice-cold water says a lot about my feelings about this particular venture.

I'm so glad this is ending soon.

Actually, I finally remembered karine's advice (better late than never) and called up Kelly Services, which is a temp agency, and they said they might have something for me. I'll be hearing back from them soon. If I don't, I'll just call them up and bug them until they're so sick of me they find me a job. ^_-

In other words, having a job might get me out of group therapy, since it's at a deucedly inconvenient time for most people with jobs.

I'm seriously beginning to feel like a masochist, going to these meetings. OTOH, I don't exactly feel like sitting there for three entire sessions while we dissect my motives for leaving. That would be four and a half hours of time with a microscope pointed at my psyche. Yuck. :P

As it is, I have a bad feeling about tonight. I had a bad feeling about the last time I went too, which is when they reduced me to a total quivering wreck, so I don't know if it's just residual feeling from then, or if they're going to start up again. *sigh* I wish I was able to build up some sort of protective psychological barrier the way some people can. I'll probably be better-equipped this time around, since I'm not cripplingly depressed, but it'll be hard. Ah well. Best get it over with. Wish me luck!

Anyway, in other news, I'm getting that old itch again. Must be the spring weather. I want to make new icons for my LJ. I like the ones I have, but they're kind of, well, disjointed. I haven't thought of a unified or unifying theme yet, mind you, so I won't be pouncing on my image-editing application (the one in Portuguese... heh) right away.

Suggestions, btw? I'm always open to new ideas. I'm not getting rid of the "Dancing in the Dark" theme, nor the black and white (and grey) colour scheme I have on my LJ, just FYI.

Comments

[vureoelt.livejournal.com]

Luck... *hugs*

[angelovernh.livejournal.com]

I am wishing you luck and strength for tonight. See yourself surrounded by a ball of light that only lets in the positive energy.. If you start to get attacked, make that ball impermeable. It's like on Star Trek when they went "Shields UP" and "Red Alert".

trauma

[(Anonymous)]

your brain and your body are separate things, and do not always communicate. for instance ... I went to the gyne (this is several years ago) to ask to get on the pill to regulate my cycle. The man told me that because of my whacked out cycle and my weight it was entirely possible that I had uterine cancer (pause for shock and throwing up). fast forward four days to the biopsy (one of the most humiliating, degrading, painful and invasive things that has ever happened to me, the shot in the ass I got while still crying about the pain and humiliation of the biopsy, and you've got bodily trauma associated with the gyne. it's taken me almost four years to get over the trauma enough to not send my blood pressure skyrocketing and being reduced to tears at a check up. it didn't matter how many times my head told me that he was wrong, I was right, it was something to get checked anyway, it's all over, my body said "bad man, we don't like him, he hurt us" and COMPLETELY stressed. SO long story short (too late) group therapy is like a check-up (although there's less removal of the clothing and no yucky salad tongs in your hoo hoo ... hee hee) after the trauma .. it sucks, and your parts are fighting to get the hell out of there ... there's nothing to do but ride it out, baby, and always plan for a treat when you're finished the session. example ... if I go to therapy I get a cookie (or a book, or that new sweater, or .. etc.) simple, possibly useless, but my take

Librarian

Re: trauma

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Thanks. The meeting went reasonably well, all things considered. I think I'll try to take the treat thing into account, though. It might make things nicer all around until the whole therapy ends.

Sorry you had such a shitty experience. :/