I guess I'm too early...

[mousme]

It's Christmas Eve...

But I keep thinking about the New Year that's looming.

I've been thinking about next year a lot. More than I should, I suppose. Obsessing might be a better term. My birthday coincides almost exactly with the New Year, and so I generally wibble about turning new leaves a bit more than the average person no matter what.

This year I'll be turning twenty-five. A quarter of a century under my belt, and not much to show for it.

I feel like a failure.

I've had a lot of good things handed to me on a silver platter in my life, and I've done very little with them. I've had it easy, and all I do is whine about things. I bitch and moan about how hard things are, when really I could probably be doing more to be making them easier. Or something. I don't know.

Keats was dead at my age.

Anyway, the point is that I'm trying to pull myself together. I don't want to stay this way. Being the way I am sucks. I have no idea how I'm going to do that yet, but I'll find a way.

I have seven days to think about it and make up a plan, and an entire year to put it to execution. I think it can work. More to follow, I guess.

Comments

[odheirre.livejournal.com]

Keats was dead at my age.

See, you're doing better than him!

Well...

[fearsclave.livejournal.com]

I'm kind of impressed by the way you are, and the thought of you improving on it is also quite impressive. Besides, who wants to use some consumptive neuralgic suicidal nancy-boy poet as a role model anyways? I think that Mike would be a far better role model for you. G'wan. Have a pint. Or eight :).

Re: Well...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Okay, agreed that Keats is prolly not the best role model (Byron once said that his poetry was written with one hand), but I refuse to model myself on a sociopath either. ^_-

I could do with eight pints or so, though. You have the first week of January off, right? Find a day then, and let's go do something alcohol-related. I think the blood levels in my alcohol stream are getting dangerously high.

Am definitely on the road to improvement. There's no point in staying in the mindset I'm in now. It sucks, and therefore should not be kept.