*sigh*

[mousme]

Every time I think that I've finally got my shit together, that my life might actually start running smoothly for once, somehow I manage to fuck everything up again.

Maybe I have some sort of subconscious desire to sabotage myself.

Let's see... things I want to accomplish:

1- Financial solvency.

Nope. Not even close.

Had to borrow money (even temporarily it stings) from my father. Got yelled at, berated, belittled, and treated like a mentally-retarded mollusc on and off all day. Oh, and he took me to lunch and was so upset with me that he managed to have some sort of weird anxiety attack (it mostly seemed to involve him feeling as though he were about to throw up) which made him leave the restaurant for twenty minutes, letting me stew there by myself. He forbade me to go with him, otherwise I'd have followed.

2- Emotional stability.

Hah! Is all I have to say to that.

Seeing my GP tonight, we'll see what he has to say about that.

3- Keep a semblance of order in my life.

Whatever. I can barely keep my apartment clean even half the time, I'm only *slightly* better at remembering important appointments and what have you, I'm working but not getting paid until later, and basically I suck.

4- Have a normal love life.

Nope, nothing there either. Abi's a saint to put up with me. Anyone else would have hit the road a long time ago.



In conclusion: fuck.

Against my better judgement, I'm leaving the comments on. I just know I'm going to regret this later.

Comments

[joane.livejournal.com]

How about a hug? :} I'm sorry that your dad gave you such a hard time - it amazes me how parents asume we're supposed to leave school and immediately know everything there is to know about creating an "appropriate" adult life... and not screw up once, because then they look bad (or am I projecting too much from my own lovely parentals?) In any case, {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}. See you at SCA tonight, so I can give some in person?

(and I know you'll probably hate me for this one, but any girl would be unbelievably lucky to have you in her life. Don't ever thinhk that 'putting up with you' is some kind of trial, or hardship!)

[mousme.livejournal.com]

*squishie*

I don't hate you for saying that. :) It makes me feel better, even though I find it really hard to believe most of the time.

I'm supposed to have dinner with the Parental Units tonight, but I'll see if I can weasel out of it and go to SCA instead. I won't be able to provide lifts, though, 'cause I have no money for gas and thus the car is not being used until further notice.

*massive smooches*

No promises, but I'll try to be there. :)

[odheirre.livejournal.com]

Well, you think your life is bad? I have to wake up a half-hour before I went to sleep, eat a half-pound of gravel without sugar or honey, walk uphill with no shoes to the coal mine where I pay the boss 27 cents to mine coal with no tools, work 28 hours a day, walk home uphill on broken glass, and then my father would flay us alive and make socks out of our skins which he'd sell to unsuspecting tourists who can't speak Esperanto.

My condolences, and I feel in very similar circumstances. Take care, and the everpresent *hugs*.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

Thanks. :)

I like the rant. It's very good. *g*

[kimberly-a.livejournal.com]

You're not alone, because we have too much in common.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Yurgh.

My condolences. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. :P

*massive hugs*

Hey, if you ever want to chat or something while Shannon's away, *all* my instant messenger thingies are listed in my userinfo, or you can email me or something. Then again, no pressure on communicating. I'm the last person in the world who'll criticise someone for not using the tools of communication they have to hand. Hell, if it wouldn't piss off all of my friends, I'd disconnect the internet and my phone line altogether. ;)

[kimberly-a.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the invitation. I may very well take you up on it, as I expect I'll be very lonely and I've never had the pleasure of chatting with you in real time. But no pressure on *you*, either. I'm sending gazillions of virtual hugs off in your direction.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Coolness. :)

No worries, I'm almost *always* online at night, usually on Yahoo!Messenger. Just send me an email ping and I'll fire up whatever chat program you want to use. :)

[caitlin.livejournal.com]

*ahem*

*HUGS*

I hear you on the financial solvency thing... I'm a broke mess myself. *sigh*

And I don't know what else to say on matters.

I hope things get better for you, though!

C.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Meh, thanks.

Being a financial mess is never any fun, especially when it's not entirely your fault.

*hugs back*

[djs-specs.livejournal.com]

Okay, now I really wanna smack both your parents - but that's beside the point.

We're pretty much all having those problems, hon, to greater or lesser degrees. *snuggles* Just keep plodding along and doing what you can to sort things out, but don't stress about it any more than you already have. As empty (and impossible) as this sounds, if you have a little bit of hope that things'll work out, they generally do.

We all still love you and I, for one, desperately wish there was some way to help out. But, unfortunately, they're not going to give me my MD without another four years of study and my mystery rich uncle is yet to snuff it. So all I have to offer are my thoughts, crossed-fingers and prayers...

*hugs* Wish I could do more.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

*pets*

You already do a ton, sweetie. :)

Just the words help more than you'll ever know.

*massive huggles*

[djs-specs.livejournal.com]

*huggles back*

Glad to be of some small help, even if its only in a spiritual rather than physical sense...

*thinks*

Okay, that sounds like I'm trying to crack onto you. I'm not, seriously! Please don't hurt me Abi (http://www.livejournal.com/users/delicatesilence), I didn't mean to sound like I'm coming onto your gal!

*runs and hides just in case*

What I meant is that I just wish I could do something a little more... substantial, like lend you some money or whatever so you don't have to put up with your Pa's guilt trips.

*thinks more*

Hey, you want a loan of my parents? They've turned out to be surprisingly cool for old farts ;)

[mousme.livejournal.com]

*lol*

I don't think I can deal with another set of parents right now, no matter how cool. Besides, my current ones would get all possessive and jealous. ;)

Don't worry about Abi: she's not the jealous type, and she knows I'm hers. :)

*huggles*

[djs-specs.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I was just struck with a very bizarre image... My parents arm-wrestling yours over you.

Yeah, I'm a odd duck.

[angelovernh.livejournal.com]

4- Have a normal love life.

ack! That would suck.. Monogamy? IckIckICK... but hey, it's considered normal.. as is vanilla sex.. BlechPToooey!!! I mean not entirely, but I wouldn't want to never have any kink. Anyhow, you might want to reconsider what kind of love life and relationships you really DO want. ;) My apologies if you're looking for a het vanilla monogamous relationship. I mean no offense.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing*

SHEESH, girl! ;)

What I meant by "normal" was "emotionally stable," to be more precise. Right now I'm like a freaking inchworm on crack: ups and downs and in some instances spiralling death. ;P

*huggles*

[paganmommy.livejournal.com]

No advice today.. I will try to hop online tonight though, if so I will message you, okay? **incoming*** hee hee. :)

Re: *huggles*

[mousme.livejournal.com]

*huggles back*

Will hop online once I'm home. :)

[vureoelt.livejournal.com]

Meh, wish I knew what to say. My sympathies... I can relate all too well to some parts of this.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

I don't know what to say myself in situations like these.

I'm just venting, is all.