Insert suspension marks here
Feb. 12th, 2003 06:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeBack-to-back entries. Go me.
Not even sure why I'm posting this publicly, or at all. It's not like I even know what I'm talking about. I haven't made a decision one way or the other, if you can call this a decision.
This is one of those times when I really wish I could have an epiphany —a real one, with the clouds opening, the light streaming down and the Heavenly Chorus going at it as though they were trying to put Wagner to shame. An epiphany would be nice. *looks hopefully at the Heavens*
...
Nope, still no epiphany.
Thing is, this is supposedly one of those things you "just know," or "somehow always knew." I don't know at all.
Big frigging Quagmire of I Don't Know.
It could just be a reaction to recent events, but it's been nagging at me for longer than that, so I think recent events may have just exacerbated the problem. Again, I don't think "problem" is the right word, but I can't really find the right word to describe this.
In and of itself, it's not an earth-shattering revelation, if it turns out to be true. I wouldn't mind if it were true, just as I wouldn't mind if it were. If it involved only me, I really couldn't care less one way or the other.
Where the problem lies is that if it is true, then it'll irrevocably change my relationship with the world. Most of the world will be fine with it, but then there's that small part that won't be fine with it, and unfortunately that small part is one of the small parts I care about too much to just disregard in this whole process.
*faceplant*
I don't even know who to talk to about this. I don't want to say it clearly just yet, because I don't know if it's true, and in my worldview words have a lot of power. What has been said cannot be unsaid, and this is too important a topic simply to bandy words about over it.
Gah.
Not even sure why I'm posting this publicly, or at all. It's not like I even know what I'm talking about. I haven't made a decision one way or the other, if you can call this a decision.
This is one of those times when I really wish I could have an epiphany —a real one, with the clouds opening, the light streaming down and the Heavenly Chorus going at it as though they were trying to put Wagner to shame. An epiphany would be nice. *looks hopefully at the Heavens*
...
Nope, still no epiphany.
Thing is, this is supposedly one of those things you "just know," or "somehow always knew." I don't know at all.
Big frigging Quagmire of I Don't Know.
It could just be a reaction to recent events, but it's been nagging at me for longer than that, so I think recent events may have just exacerbated the problem. Again, I don't think "problem" is the right word, but I can't really find the right word to describe this.
In and of itself, it's not an earth-shattering revelation, if it turns out to be true. I wouldn't mind if it were true, just as I wouldn't mind if it were. If it involved only me, I really couldn't care less one way or the other.
Where the problem lies is that if it is true, then it'll irrevocably change my relationship with the world. Most of the world will be fine with it, but then there's that small part that won't be fine with it, and unfortunately that small part is one of the small parts I care about too much to just disregard in this whole process.
*faceplant*
I don't even know who to talk to about this. I don't want to say it clearly just yet, because I don't know if it's true, and in my worldview words have a lot of power. What has been said cannot be unsaid, and this is too important a topic simply to bandy words about over it.
Gah.
