Open Letter to Bell Canada

[mousme]

To whom it may concern,

It has come to my attention that in your vast and infinite dumb-assedness you have fubarred our Integrated Billing System, known internally as IBIL. All clients whose bills are printed on the 22nd of the month have been charged DOUBLE the price of their actual plans, and this only on the Bell Mobility section of their bills.

This has led to numerous angry and -colourful- calls from understandably annoyed clients, who are as I write demanding compensation for this inconvenience.

It is therefore my (and my now rabidly homicidal coworkers) most fervent desire that you pull your head out of your asses rectify the situation as quickly as possible.

We here at Bell Mobility will be most happy to give you a map, a flashlight, a compass and a satellite location system in order to help you locate the aforementioned asses give you any assistance you may need to make sure that our clients remain happy and satisfied and don't threaten to deactivate their lines with us, thus fubarring impeding our attempts to meet our objectives for the fourth quarter.

Yours very sincerely and at the head of a teeming mob of hostile CSSRs,

Daphné Brunelle
Customer Service and Sales Representative
Bell Mobility Cellular