Sugar!

Many many thank yous to the anonymous benfactor who left cookies and sugary stuff in a tin hanging on my front door last night. It was a very nice thing to find after a relatively crappy day, all told. :)

I have a sneaking suspicion who it was (the rice krispie square kind of gave it away), but I'm not 100% sure.

Thank you!

SSRI dreams

I should get myself a little notebook to jot down dreams or something. I think it might be a side effect of the new little pills (we're experimenting with St. John's Wort, as I expressed a desire not to go back on the conventional SSRI's just yet), but I keep falling asleep when I'm on my breaks or on the bus or metro, and I have the most vivid and weird dreams while I sleep.

I remember having the same sort of dreams while on Paxil. Technicolour-bright, grandiose and apocalyotic, and I always remembered them when I awoke. I don't remember these as clearly, but I still have some of the images etched in my mind's eye.

The first was during a cat-nap I snatched while I was delayed waiting for a paper for the department. I sat down and *poof*, I was asleep. And suddenly I was in a large Creation dream in which the sky and the water were an undifferentiated mass on which a sort of odd-looking simian race navigated in large boats. There was an argument of some sorts on one of the boats, and some of the inhabitants began to pull away, tearing the fabric of the world. Suddenly, in the rift that was created, a brilliant light began to pour in. The first group began to pull harder, mesmerised by the light they had created, and the sun shone even more brightly as the heavens began to form and the sea began to take shape. The heaven-bound people cried out in delight and spread their arms, turning their faces toward the light and smiling, while the sea-bound people arched their bodies and grew fins, then undulated gracefully and dove gratefully beneath the cool waves. The sun's brightness grew in intensity, piercing through the widening gap between sky and sea until it reigned supreme above the world and was worshipped by all the creatures both above and below for its radiance and life-giving powers.

Unfortunately that's when I was interrupted by the arrival of the paper I was waiting for, and so I never found out whether any earth was formed on that world. I'd like to go back to that dream at some point and find out what happened. :)

The other dreams are more muddled in my head at this point, but I recall that they were far more violent and gory. Today's video games got nothing on them, I swear to you.

( Cut for some serious gore. I kid you not, my dreams are fucking disturbing. Or disturbed. )

So, there you have it. A glimpse into the very twisted mind of Phnee. Are you frightened yet?

A month's vacation would be good right about now...

Or maybe two months.

Yeah. That would be nice.

I haven't actually had a vacation since December 2000, and that one was spent worrying about my honours thesis. You do the math.

Obviously, the headspace isn't great right now. I'm just a little annoyed at hearing all these people bitch about how they *only* get three weeks' vacation time a year, and how little it is, and poor, poor them. As t! would say: pyh.

Well, fuck you, you ungrateful bitches. I get paid about a fifth your salary, get no benefits, no insurance, and no vacation. I try not to complain (unless it's in my LJ, where I can bitch if I want to), but with you around it's damned hard. Please shut the fuck up before I sock you.