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mousmeThere's a screenshot bopping around the internet of someone asking: "What's the most boomer complaint you have?" And the reply is "Stop making me make accounts. A lightbulb that changes colours shouldn't require an account. A TV speaker shouldn't require an account."
This is one of the most relatable things I've seen of late, because I have had to create so many accounts for things that honestly should not require any such thing.
I have an account for my computer mouse and keyboard, I have an account for several "services" relating to my television, an account for groceries, an account for Canadian Tire, Home Depot, a couple of restaurants from which I order food sometimes, my Fitbit, my bus pass... I could go on and on and on.
This is, of course, because all of these companies want my data. It started out I don't even remember how many years ago with those points/loyalty cards. Remember when there were physical cards for those things? The companies figured out they could a) keep their customers coming back with loyalty programs, and b) track where people were spending their money. There have been stories over the years about how advertisers know more about us than our own family members, like that time Target allegedly knew about a teen pregnancy before she told her father (that story is likely untrue, but a lot of women reported that when they were "trying" for a baby they started receiving a lot more pregnancy and baby-related materials despite not making any significant changes in their shopping behaviours yet).
These days, it's all about the almighty Algorithm. The Algorithm gets talked about like it's a living, breathing, sentient being, and that's maybe not too far from the truth. It is something that learns and grows and is designed to try to read your mind, to predict what you might want to see next, but it's also designed to influence you to want more things, too. On social media it will feed you posts that it wants you to engage with more, and on websites like Amazon it's designed to make you want to buy more things. Sure, we can joke about the algorithm suggesting toilet seats to us for months after we bought the only toilet seat we're likely to need for several years, but the fact remains that it will absolutely suggest "related" things to the books and other doodads that we're already buying, and I have not been immune to the "Oh, that's a good idea!" effect of having it in front of me, the same way you impulse buy a chocolate bar at the checkout at the grocery store, only worse, because the website remembers everything.
Worst of all, we've gotten to a point where we can't opt out. I seeds from a Canadian retailer a few months ago, and found myself mysteriously signed up for something called Shop, which is now being used by a bunch of retailers that I frequent online. Okay, fine, it seems to be a weird combination of PayPal and Wayfair, and it's not my favourite, but if I have to have this account in order to get seeds, I guess it's fine. But then suddenly I couldn't track my orders without downloading the Shop app on my phone (very sus) OR allowing it access to all of my emails, including read/search privileges (SUPER sus). Like WTF is up with that? NO, THANK YOU. Why do you need the ability to search through my emails, Shop? Hmm? And it's the same with so many other things. Buy a robot vacuum? You have to create an account or it won't work (I had one of the early ones in 2006 or so, and it worked just fine because smart phones were barely a blip in those days and "there's an app for that!" was a cute new catchphrase). Want your landlord to make a repair? Make an account on the new residents' portal! Want to control your own thermostat? FUCK YOU, MAKE AN ACCOUNT.
*lies on the floor*
I'm fed up with being The Product (as in "if the product is free, then you are the product"), especially as I am more often than not paying to be the product these days. I would like to live my life without being in forty thousand databases, and I would like to do that without scrubbing every trace of myself from the internet and going to live in an off-grid hut in a swamp and becoming a bog witch. Surely there must be a happy medium somewhere?
Anyway, that is my rant for the day. Carry on. See you on the flip side!
This is one of the most relatable things I've seen of late, because I have had to create so many accounts for things that honestly should not require any such thing.
I have an account for my computer mouse and keyboard, I have an account for several "services" relating to my television, an account for groceries, an account for Canadian Tire, Home Depot, a couple of restaurants from which I order food sometimes, my Fitbit, my bus pass... I could go on and on and on.
This is, of course, because all of these companies want my data. It started out I don't even remember how many years ago with those points/loyalty cards. Remember when there were physical cards for those things? The companies figured out they could a) keep their customers coming back with loyalty programs, and b) track where people were spending their money. There have been stories over the years about how advertisers know more about us than our own family members, like that time Target allegedly knew about a teen pregnancy before she told her father (that story is likely untrue, but a lot of women reported that when they were "trying" for a baby they started receiving a lot more pregnancy and baby-related materials despite not making any significant changes in their shopping behaviours yet).
These days, it's all about the almighty Algorithm. The Algorithm gets talked about like it's a living, breathing, sentient being, and that's maybe not too far from the truth. It is something that learns and grows and is designed to try to read your mind, to predict what you might want to see next, but it's also designed to influence you to want more things, too. On social media it will feed you posts that it wants you to engage with more, and on websites like Amazon it's designed to make you want to buy more things. Sure, we can joke about the algorithm suggesting toilet seats to us for months after we bought the only toilet seat we're likely to need for several years, but the fact remains that it will absolutely suggest "related" things to the books and other doodads that we're already buying, and I have not been immune to the "Oh, that's a good idea!" effect of having it in front of me, the same way you impulse buy a chocolate bar at the checkout at the grocery store, only worse, because the website remembers everything.
Worst of all, we've gotten to a point where we can't opt out. I seeds from a Canadian retailer a few months ago, and found myself mysteriously signed up for something called Shop, which is now being used by a bunch of retailers that I frequent online. Okay, fine, it seems to be a weird combination of PayPal and Wayfair, and it's not my favourite, but if I have to have this account in order to get seeds, I guess it's fine. But then suddenly I couldn't track my orders without downloading the Shop app on my phone (very sus) OR allowing it access to all of my emails, including read/search privileges (SUPER sus). Like WTF is up with that? NO, THANK YOU. Why do you need the ability to search through my emails, Shop? Hmm? And it's the same with so many other things. Buy a robot vacuum? You have to create an account or it won't work (I had one of the early ones in 2006 or so, and it worked just fine because smart phones were barely a blip in those days and "there's an app for that!" was a cute new catchphrase). Want your landlord to make a repair? Make an account on the new residents' portal! Want to control your own thermostat? FUCK YOU, MAKE AN ACCOUNT.
*lies on the floor*
I'm fed up with being The Product (as in "if the product is free, then you are the product"), especially as I am more often than not paying to be the product these days. I would like to live my life without being in forty thousand databases, and I would like to do that without scrubbing every trace of myself from the internet and going to live in an off-grid hut in a swamp and becoming a bog witch. Surely there must be a happy medium somewhere?
Anyway, that is my rant for the day. Carry on. See you on the flip side!
