That didn't work out...
Jan. 10th, 2021 08:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeDidn't get any work done after all. Well, not the work I intended to do, anyway. I did take several work calls, so there's that. On the other hand I did dishes and laundry and did a quick tidy of the kitchen, so all is not lost. Baby steps toward being an organized, productive human being!
I talked to my therapist on Friday, and as always it feels like there is never enough time to talk about things, and also every time she asks me if there's something I want to talk about, and I draw a total blank. Like, if I knew what I wanted, I wouldn't be in therapy! :P Okay, I exaggerate slightly, but ugh, I am bad at articulating my needs. I've been seeing her for three years now, and I still kiiiind of have trouble opening up 100% to her. This is probably because I have trouble opening up to anyone 100%, tbh. Everyone I know gets a different piece of me, tailored to the level I think they'll be accepting of me. In a way I'm probably more open online than I am in meatspace, because the risks of outright rejection are lower. Anyway, it was nice to talk to her again. I think it will take me some time to get back into my groove with her after this long of an absence.
I was in bed and asleep by 10:30 last night, but I am inexplicably tired again after doing not much all weekend. I guess early to bed tonight is a safe bet. I have lots to get done tomorrow, after all, and I already have a bunch of meetings lined up. *sigh* I enjoy meetings to an extent, but they are such giant time sucks. I will have to be very disciplined tomorrow in order to get my project done before the end of the day.
Apart from my very mild productivity today I also ran out of available episodes of Death In Paradise and the new The Stand miniseries (I am not convinced about it yet, but I really liked the book and the previous miniseries, despite their problems, so I am going to see where it goes), and then remembered that His Dark Materials has a second season that I haven't watched yet, so I am watching that now. The new working hours mean I have a lot less time to watch television, but I'm still probably watching too much by some standards. I can't bring myself to regret it.
On that note, I should probably start winding down for bed before I have more regrets tomorrow.
I talked to my therapist on Friday, and as always it feels like there is never enough time to talk about things, and also every time she asks me if there's something I want to talk about, and I draw a total blank. Like, if I knew what I wanted, I wouldn't be in therapy! :P Okay, I exaggerate slightly, but ugh, I am bad at articulating my needs. I've been seeing her for three years now, and I still kiiiind of have trouble opening up 100% to her. This is probably because I have trouble opening up to anyone 100%, tbh. Everyone I know gets a different piece of me, tailored to the level I think they'll be accepting of me. In a way I'm probably more open online than I am in meatspace, because the risks of outright rejection are lower. Anyway, it was nice to talk to her again. I think it will take me some time to get back into my groove with her after this long of an absence.
I was in bed and asleep by 10:30 last night, but I am inexplicably tired again after doing not much all weekend. I guess early to bed tonight is a safe bet. I have lots to get done tomorrow, after all, and I already have a bunch of meetings lined up. *sigh* I enjoy meetings to an extent, but they are such giant time sucks. I will have to be very disciplined tomorrow in order to get my project done before the end of the day.
Apart from my very mild productivity today I also ran out of available episodes of Death In Paradise and the new The Stand miniseries (I am not convinced about it yet, but I really liked the book and the previous miniseries, despite their problems, so I am going to see where it goes), and then remembered that His Dark Materials has a second season that I haven't watched yet, so I am watching that now. The new working hours mean I have a lot less time to watch television, but I'm still probably watching too much by some standards. I can't bring myself to regret it.
On that note, I should probably start winding down for bed before I have more regrets tomorrow.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2021-01-14 03:51 am (UTC)I totally get you on the therapist stuff. I never know what I want to talk about until they start asking questions. Unless it's asking me specifically what I want to talk about, lol. And I also have a hard time opening up 100%. What you said about people getting a different piece of you really resonates.
no subject
Date: 2021-01-15 12:38 am (UTC)"What do you want to address today?"
"Uuuh, I dunno, what do YOU want to talk about?"
:P