Slowly but surely

[mousme]

The moral of the story is, home ownership is hard.

I am on vacation, and have actually managed to do a cursory cleanup of the main floor. Eventually, if this nice new cool weather holds, I will clean out the basement too, and try to set up the shelving I have been promising myself I would do for months now.

The garden is in so-so shape. I haven't planted anything except the raspberry bushes that karine gave me, which did well for a while and then promptly keeled over and died. Otherwise, I've been making do with the plants that were already there (peonies and a few small rosebushes), and fighting a losing battle with the powdery mildew that's growing on half of them.

My main problem, these days, is that I am flat broke. Or, rather, I am house poor. I have a lovely house which I adore, but it feels like every damned penny I earn is going either to my mortgage, to my insurance, or to my car payments. I am also not going to get any kind of respite from the handful of teeny-tiny loans I have here and there for at least another 18 months, which makes me want to cry. I haven't lived pay check to pay check in years, and it is stressing me the f*ck out, because I literally cannot afford any kind of emergency. As it is, I have been doing much better lately about minimising "unnecessary" costs, like books and outings and ordering food at work when I should be doing groceries like a normal person. It's helped, but is essentially a drop of water in the bucket of all the money that keeps getting sucked out of my bank account every month.

Mostly I live in constant dread that someday (sooner rather than later) I will make a serious miscalculation and someone is going to come take my house away from me and I will be not only houseless but will have to declare bankruptcy and rehome the cats and the dog and sell my furniture and generally be a big fat failure. Not that I am ever overdramatic, no.

Seriously, there are times I'd consider alcoholism if booze wasn't so damned expensive.

I have a number of outside-related projects I want to get done for the house, but are mostly dependent on my winning the lottery. I need to pave my driveway, install a retaining wall, and build a fence to separate me from the neighbour I suspect might be more than a little crazy. I'd also like to build three more raised beds for next year, so I can plant vegetables.

Do I have the money to do any of the above? Hah. No. *sigh* Not even the money to buy the two-by-fours I'd need for the beds. Although I will likely have a bit more loose cash in the early fall, which is when I'd be able to build them. Supposing I can figure that out. I am not exactly what you would call "handy." I am learning as I go.

I did get myself a shiny new compost bin from Home Depot yesterday, though, and assembled it this morning. No more food waste going into the garbage. *kermitflail* I also got some biodegradable cleaning stuff for the back patio, which desperately needs it. I will likely be doing that over the weekend. The Maternal Unit is coming by tomorrow to "help" me with the garden. I suspect it will mostly involve her obsessing over some tiny detail I'd never otherwise have noticed, and nothing else happening for the rest of the day. Oh well, it'll be nice to have her over.

The dog has not been enjoying the heat, but today the temperature has gone down, and so everyone is enjoying a much-needed break.

And this has been the Most Boring Update Ever™ in the history of LiveJournal. ;)

Comments

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Ugh. I keep telling myself that, because it's the only thing keeping me going this year. I know people who claim to have "no money" yet manage to pay for vacations and new game stations on a regular basis, and I can't help but think that their definition of a tight budget is not my definition. Don't get me wrong, I am in a much better position than many people, but all my money is earmarked for bills and groceries and gas these days, and nothing else.

Thanks for the good thoughts!

[kiwano.livejournal.com]

Any chance you can nibble away at your gas budget by biking?

[mousme.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to get my hands on a bike trailer so I can at least do my grocery shopping and such by bicycle. I was pointed in the direction of one by fearsclave, but unfortunately that person hasn't replied to my email yet. I am looking elsewhere, but the ones I've found so far are all a bit out of my price range.

I looked into maybe biking to work when I get into better shape, but even at a good clip (which I can't sustain right now) it would take me 2.5 hours one way, which means I'd be away from home for 17 hours. Given that I have a dog and actually need to sleep, this is not practical.

I've also looked into public transit, and the quickest route to work would take me almost as long as cycling, so that's a no go as well, at least until the service improves locally. *sigh*

[kiwano.livejournal.com]

Can your commute be done reasonably quickly/cheaply by mixing modes? E.g. drive to a good transit connection, bring your bike on the transit, and bike the rest ofthe way? On one hand, I suspect you've looked into this, but on the other hand my tell-people-to-bike-more reflex is pretty strong, so...

[mousme.livejournal.com]

I did look into it. I live in a wasteland of very little transit that's not for 9-5 commuters, alas. No, I would have loved to be able to bike even partway to work...

[kiwano.livejournal.com]

That's terrible. Good luck with the trailer then.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[langolier2408.livejournal.com]

Working in banking for 25+ years has given me a unique perspective. Don't judge yourself based on others and their seemingly ability to have it all... In my experience a great deal of the general population is living beyond their means and is paying for that lifestyle on credit and the equity in their homes. It will come back to bite them in the ass eventually, it always does. I've seen it time and again.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Eesh. Yes, intellectually I know this, and it's a bit of a comfort, though not much. I'm at least not living beyond my means. Well, not by much. And that's only due to my own stupidity and inability to deal with my finances like a responsible grown-up. Still, I've sat down and looked at the numbers, and I'm pretty sure I can fix all my major financial problems with about six months of serious belt-tightening.

I'm also trying to remind myself that outward appearances are just that—outward appearances. I have no idea what's really going on in people's private lives, let alone their bank accounts. So I'm going to focus on what I do know, and make sure that I get all my ducks in a row, as it were.

Thanks for the kind words!

[stefuss.livejournal.com]

Since you have a home depot nearby you might want to ask them if they are giving away shipping pallets. You coul use that instead of 2x4 s to buil your beds.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Actually, the "fruitique" at the corner of my street just went out of business, and have a few pallets just sitting out in the yard. I might go and salvage some of those. Good idea!