So what makes you happy?
Oct. 21st, 2003 02:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeSpent the day with my mother on Saturday, and of course I was still in Depressed!Phnee mode, so I wasn't exactly a joy to have around. Nonetheless, I have a car, which makes me useful for grocery shopping.
Anyway.
At one point she asked me what I would be happy doing, and immediately this nice vision of me sitting at a desk near a window and writing popped into my head.
I want to be a writer.
Problem is, I've got a sneaking suspicion that my writing kind of sucks. It's not appalling, but it's not great either, and I've never had the staying power to write a whole novel. My plots just don't go for that long. I'm hoping NaNo will change that. ^^;
In the meantime, I started re-reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and got this little teeny tiny plot bunny that reared it's cute head and is now demanding that I explore it and write it: James Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
*beats head against wall*
I'm also getting behind in my work again. Fuck.
Oh, and in other good news: more group therapy tonight.
God, I hope it goes better than last time. I don't know what the hell is supposed to go on in that group at all, nor do the other participants seem to know, and the two therapists who are there didn't tell us. What the fuck? So what we're going to do is create a "microcosm" of reality, of how we interact with people in the outside world.
Except that I don't trust strangers. Not for a long time. I'm certainly not going to act with these people the way I do with my friends.
I also *really* don't like one of the therapists. It's the same woman I was bitching about a few weeks ago, the one who told me that, while there were no wrong answers to her questionnaire, it was clear that I had answered wrongly. Then she decided that because I was upset by these remarks, it was proof that I had given the answers I did because it was politically correct and I wanted to be accepted. *sigh*
Then she called me a well-educated clown, because I try to be a fun person in social gatherings. She said that no one likes clowns, and that if I didn't change that behaviour I would end up all alone.
So having her there is an irritant at best, and her only contribution to the session was inane rhetorical questions. Same with her counterpart, except her counterpart isn't as annoying.
Feh. I'm committed to going, though, so I'll keep trying. After all, there's only been one session. Maybe it'll get better. Or maybe the rest of the group will get to hate her enough that they won't care if I strangle her with my knitting.
Anyway.
At one point she asked me what I would be happy doing, and immediately this nice vision of me sitting at a desk near a window and writing popped into my head.
I want to be a writer.
Problem is, I've got a sneaking suspicion that my writing kind of sucks. It's not appalling, but it's not great either, and I've never had the staying power to write a whole novel. My plots just don't go for that long. I'm hoping NaNo will change that. ^^;
In the meantime, I started re-reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and got this little teeny tiny plot bunny that reared it's cute head and is now demanding that I explore it and write it: James Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
*beats head against wall*
I'm also getting behind in my work again. Fuck.
Oh, and in other good news: more group therapy tonight.
God, I hope it goes better than last time. I don't know what the hell is supposed to go on in that group at all, nor do the other participants seem to know, and the two therapists who are there didn't tell us. What the fuck? So what we're going to do is create a "microcosm" of reality, of how we interact with people in the outside world.
Except that I don't trust strangers. Not for a long time. I'm certainly not going to act with these people the way I do with my friends.
I also *really* don't like one of the therapists. It's the same woman I was bitching about a few weeks ago, the one who told me that, while there were no wrong answers to her questionnaire, it was clear that I had answered wrongly. Then she decided that because I was upset by these remarks, it was proof that I had given the answers I did because it was politically correct and I wanted to be accepted. *sigh*
Then she called me a well-educated clown, because I try to be a fun person in social gatherings. She said that no one likes clowns, and that if I didn't change that behaviour I would end up all alone.
So having her there is an irritant at best, and her only contribution to the session was inane rhetorical questions. Same with her counterpart, except her counterpart isn't as annoying.
Feh. I'm committed to going, though, so I'll keep trying. After all, there's only been one session. Maybe it'll get better. Or maybe the rest of the group will get to hate her enough that they won't care if I strangle her with my knitting.
