Seriously. I realized somewhere between last night and this morning that a lot of my frustration about work stems from the fact that I feel entitled to the perks that come with having an office job. Like having a reasonable paycheque, getting some kind of dental and medical coverage, and, most importantly in my mind right now, paid vacation time.
I see other people, friends of mine, getting jobs and having vacation time a few months after, and I have to admit, I'm very jealous. I don't begrudge them the time, because hey, it's theirs. But I also think at the same time: "I've been at this for five months, and there won't be any vacation at least until this time next year, if I'm lucky. I never got any vacation time at my last job either. Why can't I have that?"
So I think that, for my own peace of mind, I have to learn not to feel entitled to a vacation. Because, really, I'm not. There is no law out there that says "Phnee must have a paid vacation once a year." I'm a temp, even if I don't want to be, and that's that. Just because I'm university-educated and work a stultifyingly dull job in a bank, does not mean I automatically get something.
Repeat to self: I am not entitled to anything. I am lucky to have what I've got already.
I don't want to be bitter. Maybe if I come to terms with this, I'll be easier to live with.
I see other people, friends of mine, getting jobs and having vacation time a few months after, and I have to admit, I'm very jealous. I don't begrudge them the time, because hey, it's theirs. But I also think at the same time: "I've been at this for five months, and there won't be any vacation at least until this time next year, if I'm lucky. I never got any vacation time at my last job either. Why can't I have that?"
So I think that, for my own peace of mind, I have to learn not to feel entitled to a vacation. Because, really, I'm not. There is no law out there that says "Phnee must have a paid vacation once a year." I'm a temp, even if I don't want to be, and that's that. Just because I'm university-educated and work a stultifyingly dull job in a bank, does not mean I automatically get something.
Repeat to self: I am not entitled to anything. I am lucky to have what I've got already.
I don't want to be bitter. Maybe if I come to terms with this, I'll be easier to live with.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-29 10:52 pm (UTC)I like what I do. I just wish the govt would hurry up and implement all the freelance/self-employed benefits they keep talking about.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-30 12:41 pm (UTC)