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Hashtag Quaker Problems
Feb. 23rd, 2025 09:41 pm Today went by in an absolute flash. I was up reasonably early in order to get to Quaker Meeting in time to find parking and get there to wait for potential children to come to First Day School. The Glebe (the neighbourhood where the Meeting House is located) is still up to their eyeballs in snow, and I almost didn't find a parking spot, but I lucked out and happened across a lady pulling out of her spot and leaped on it like a striking hyena. I struggled with the parking meter for a few minutes until a kind passerby reminded me that parking is free on Sundays. *headdesk*
I got to Meeting with about ten minutes to spare, then hung out in the nursery room until we were pretty sure no children were showing up, and then I went into Worship with the people who were there. Fifteen minutes before the end of Meeting one of the Members walked in and sat right next to me, and I will confess to spending the next fifteen minutes thinking very unquakerly thoughts about her. She's been the most vocal opponent of hybrid Meetings from the start, and is also an anti-vaxxer, which makes it really difficult for me to find kindness in my heart about her. She seems completely oblivious to her own privilege. I had a brief hope this year that she'd see the light because she fell and broke her hip (she is apparently mostly recovered) and was really grateful to have access to the online worship in order to be connected to the Quaker community while she was still not very mobile, but apparently that experience has not softened her at all. Now that she's able to come to Meeting in person again, she doesn't want to be inconvenienced by the existence of technology. What did not help her cause today is that she was also incredibly disruptive in those last fifteen minutes. She rummaged through her bag, flipped through papers, noisily pulled out her water bottle and drank loudly from it, rummaged through her bag some more, and shifted in her chair continuously, poking me accidentally each time she did so. It was a trial of patience, and I failed it, internally at least.
After Meeting we had tea and coffee (although I remained masked during that time because I'm not crazy enough to unmask around two anti-vaxxers--she was there with her husband), and she went on her usual litany of complaints about technology in the Meeting room. I was already super frustrated with her and didn't trust myself to speak politely or constructively, but I did point out that if we wanted to reduce or do away with hybrid Meetings, then we would have to implement mandatory masking more than once a month, otherwise we were making Meeting inaccessible to disabled people. She didn't appreciate that, and was about to launch into telling me about how there were "other alternatives," when a new Attender actually jumped in and spoke very reasonably to her about the value of the added community of hybrid Meetings, bless every bone in his body. She was NOT best pleased at being contradicted by a very young man, but we are so short of young people in Meeting that a lot of elders don't like it when others say things that might alienate them or discourage them from attending again, so she kind of bit her tongue. I should not have been so smug, but I was. Oh well. XD
I also got an earful from one Member in particular about how the announcements work, because she had an event planned in two weeks and it should have been announced, and HOW COULD SHE KNOW that she needed to send the announcements to me, the Announcements Committee? Even though I've been doing this for a year and a half, and the announcements system has been in place for nearly three years now. We also regularly post reminders of how annoucements work and provide verbal reminders periodically at Meeting. Then she got annoyed that we didn't announce that next Sunday is Potluck, even though every first Sunday has traditionally been potluck for literal decades.
I CANNOT. *beats head on desk*
On a more cheerful note, the new Attender walked with me back to my car so I could tell him a bit more about Quaker traditions and processes, and I gave him my "official" Quaker email, and he seems excited to learn more, which is nice. I am trying to be welcoming without being overwhelming. Too often new Attenders get jumped on by a whole bunch of well-meaning Elders who immediately want them to join committees. It's hilarious to me, because I know if comes from a good place, but it's super off-putting to people who are just very tentatively looking for a new religious community to worship in.
Anyway, Quaker frustrations aside, the rest of the day went by super quickly. I was quite tired when I got home, so I took a nap, then Skyped with my parents, and then it was time for dinner. KK found the sink while I was gone (by which I mean she did the dishes) and kept the dogs occupied with cuddles on the sofa. The fridge is rather overfull with food these days, so dinner was leftovers and I made myself a green salad as well.
And then in the blink of an eye, it was time for bed. Bedtime got interrupted by the modem spontanously unplugging itself (I blame the dogs), but once we'd sorted that out I came back upstairs in time to write this update, and now I am heading off to slumberland. Tomorrow is a work day, and I need to be up at a decent time so I can shower and be relatively decent before I head in.
Good night, friends!
I got to Meeting with about ten minutes to spare, then hung out in the nursery room until we were pretty sure no children were showing up, and then I went into Worship with the people who were there. Fifteen minutes before the end of Meeting one of the Members walked in and sat right next to me, and I will confess to spending the next fifteen minutes thinking very unquakerly thoughts about her. She's been the most vocal opponent of hybrid Meetings from the start, and is also an anti-vaxxer, which makes it really difficult for me to find kindness in my heart about her. She seems completely oblivious to her own privilege. I had a brief hope this year that she'd see the light because she fell and broke her hip (she is apparently mostly recovered) and was really grateful to have access to the online worship in order to be connected to the Quaker community while she was still not very mobile, but apparently that experience has not softened her at all. Now that she's able to come to Meeting in person again, she doesn't want to be inconvenienced by the existence of technology. What did not help her cause today is that she was also incredibly disruptive in those last fifteen minutes. She rummaged through her bag, flipped through papers, noisily pulled out her water bottle and drank loudly from it, rummaged through her bag some more, and shifted in her chair continuously, poking me accidentally each time she did so. It was a trial of patience, and I failed it, internally at least.
After Meeting we had tea and coffee (although I remained masked during that time because I'm not crazy enough to unmask around two anti-vaxxers--she was there with her husband), and she went on her usual litany of complaints about technology in the Meeting room. I was already super frustrated with her and didn't trust myself to speak politely or constructively, but I did point out that if we wanted to reduce or do away with hybrid Meetings, then we would have to implement mandatory masking more than once a month, otherwise we were making Meeting inaccessible to disabled people. She didn't appreciate that, and was about to launch into telling me about how there were "other alternatives," when a new Attender actually jumped in and spoke very reasonably to her about the value of the added community of hybrid Meetings, bless every bone in his body. She was NOT best pleased at being contradicted by a very young man, but we are so short of young people in Meeting that a lot of elders don't like it when others say things that might alienate them or discourage them from attending again, so she kind of bit her tongue. I should not have been so smug, but I was. Oh well. XD
I also got an earful from one Member in particular about how the announcements work, because she had an event planned in two weeks and it should have been announced, and HOW COULD SHE KNOW that she needed to send the announcements to me, the Announcements Committee? Even though I've been doing this for a year and a half, and the announcements system has been in place for nearly three years now. We also regularly post reminders of how annoucements work and provide verbal reminders periodically at Meeting. Then she got annoyed that we didn't announce that next Sunday is Potluck, even though every first Sunday has traditionally been potluck for literal decades.
I CANNOT. *beats head on desk*
On a more cheerful note, the new Attender walked with me back to my car so I could tell him a bit more about Quaker traditions and processes, and I gave him my "official" Quaker email, and he seems excited to learn more, which is nice. I am trying to be welcoming without being overwhelming. Too often new Attenders get jumped on by a whole bunch of well-meaning Elders who immediately want them to join committees. It's hilarious to me, because I know if comes from a good place, but it's super off-putting to people who are just very tentatively looking for a new religious community to worship in.
Anyway, Quaker frustrations aside, the rest of the day went by super quickly. I was quite tired when I got home, so I took a nap, then Skyped with my parents, and then it was time for dinner. KK found the sink while I was gone (by which I mean she did the dishes) and kept the dogs occupied with cuddles on the sofa. The fridge is rather overfull with food these days, so dinner was leftovers and I made myself a green salad as well.
And then in the blink of an eye, it was time for bed. Bedtime got interrupted by the modem spontanously unplugging itself (I blame the dogs), but once we'd sorted that out I came back upstairs in time to write this update, and now I am heading off to slumberland. Tomorrow is a work day, and I need to be up at a decent time so I can shower and be relatively decent before I head in.
Good night, friends!
