Just a little bit broken

I think I'm going to declare tomorrow a Mental Health Day.

I've had a better November than I'm used to having, but it's been hard regardless. Also, this stupid migraine won't go away. It recedes for a while, usually around the afternoon, and then comes back in full force in the evenings. It's a good thing I've learned to keep functioning even when they hit.

So I came to my parents' apartment this evening to do my weekly round of watering the plants and watching a bit of television, and to catch up on NaNoWriMo. I only have 2,289 words to write before I hit 50,000. No problem, right? Wrong.

I got no writing done at all. I'm not worried about that. 2,000 words in three days is nothing. I'll do it tomorrow. I got 3,000-odd words written this afternoon. NaNo will be fine.

I decided to make tomorrow a Mental Health Day because the end of Cold Case Files made me sob uncontrollably for ten minutes. That's a pretty clear sign that I need some time off. For one thing, the people on that show for the most part couldn't act their way out of a wet paper bag. It just pushed all of my buttons and suddenly I wanted my mommy and she won't be home until Wednesday and it was all too much. So, yeah. Mental Health Day. I'm going to get some sleep, so a bit of writing, and sleep some more.

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a bit of a mess. I hadn't realized quite how much of a mess I was until I got here. It's taking every ounce of strength just to keep smiling and to be pleasant with people. I saw five people today, and I think I ended up snapping at four of them. (*waves to friends* If I snapped, I didn't mean it...)

I'm taking everything that people say the wrong way, even when the rational part of my brain knows that whatever I think they said isn't really what they said. It's very frustrating. If a friend says "I'm feeling lonely," my brain hears "You're never here for me and you're a bad friend." If someone says "I liked what you wrote in that one piece a while back," I hear "Most of your writing sucks but I don't want to tell you so I'm picking out the one positive thing I can think of so as not to hurt your feelings." If someone says "I posted about [issue] on the board today," I hear "You're not making enough of an effort to keep up to speed."

I'd like to know where the hell I got these broken filters and whether I can get a refund.

I don't know whether to be happy or sad that November is over. Sure, the NaNoWriMo related stress will be over, but I keep wondering if NaNo isn't actually keeping me sane by preventing me from thinking of other stuff. I guess we'll find out. Stay tuned for the next thrilling instalment in this chronicle.

Mental Health Day

I slept until 11am. I only got up because I had to phone foi_nefaste to coordinate Bubble Tea tonight. Otherwise, I might just as easily have slept another hour or five.

The migraine, thanks be to all the gods, seems finally to be gone. Excedrin and lots of sleep seem to have killed it.

I continued re-reading A Clash of Kings for a while, then spent half an hour just sitting with the cats on my lap. Really, there's nothing like having three purring cats draped over you, just being quiet. George was off wreaking havoc somewhere else. He's not especially cuddly, although he's very friendly.

Sometime this week I shall go in search of A Feast for Crows. I have heard very different reviews coming from everywhere, so I have decided to see for myself. Not that I wouldn't have read it anyway, but generally speaking I know what to expect from my friends' opinions. This time, I am in the dark. It'll be a surprise.

Today I shall attain my projected wordcount of 50,000 words. I have four and a half hours before I see foi_nefaste, so I figure that's enough time to finish, if I stop procrastinating. ;)

To my great surprise and joy, I found a shiny green bag waiting for me outside this morning, hanging on my mailbox. It is to squee! See, I've been using a green sparkly paper bag to carry my drumsticks and other percussion-related paraphernalia, but the bag was getting, well, a little battered. So it seems that karine got inspired and actually sewed me a bag yesterday! How exciting is that? w00t!

I also caved and bought new drum skins for the bass and the snare on Saturday. The bass got torn since the last gig, we're not sure how but we suspect it was a moving-related mishap aggravated by temperature changes, and the snare has been looking much the worse for wear for a while now. I shall be bringing both with me to practice on Tuesday, and then I get to figure out how to replace skins on a drum. Woo!

That's it for now, I think. Now I shall go make something to eat, and then think about writing those missing 2,000-odd words for NaNoWriMo.