Fuck you

Dear Manager,

I am obviously too efficient for you. So, next time you have a rush, please make sure you have ALL your papers together before asking me to send something urgently by messenger.

As it is, you're lucky it hadn't left yet. I still had to throw out a perfectly good envelope and start over again, because you remembered last-minute that you wanted to add papers to your missive.

Words cannot express how much I hate having to waste time doing the same thing over again when it's not necessary to begin with. L isn't here today, so that means I have to do her work as well as mine, and I really don't need my time wasted in stupid ways like that.

Next time, get organized.

No love at all,

Me

*grr*

Dear Everyone,

Don't staple your envelopes shut. They are self-adhesive. If you must, use scotch tape. That will prevent receptionists stabbing themselves in the fingers while dealing with the mail.

No love,

The Receptionist


Dear Manager,

I realize you're trying to be helpful while L is gone. Please stop. You are actually adding to my workload because you're doing things wrong.

Sort of love,

Me


Dear Clients,

Just, go away. No one at the office wants to talk to you today. Those managers who are actually here, that is. All you're doing is making me answer the phone to tell you that no one is available. Take today off, I mean it. Go golfing. Half our office is there anyway. Maybe you'll get more business done that way.

Still no love,

Me

Me? Complain about work? Never.

Dear Manager,

For fuck's sake, please get organized! You gave me two drafts to make. Fine, I made them. Two hours later you want me to make more? Christ on a biscuit, woman. Just get your act together and tell me all at once so that, like I was telling the other manager earlier in my bitchy letter, I don't have to waste my time doing the same thing over and over again.

God.

No love whatsoever,

Me

Just shoot me now

Between emergencies that shouldn't be emergencies and people who won't give me clear instructions and then get pissed off when I "screw up," I'm writing this day off as a total loss.

Oh, and add to that total non-emergencies that people still want yesterday.


To all of that I say: fuck you, very hard.



:::ETA:::

I hate paperwork. I hate the photocopier. I hate rush paperwork that makes me have to use all sixteen billion functions on the photocopier that never work the way you want them to and thus fuck up your work six ways to Sunday.

In other words, I want to punch a wall really, really hard right now. Then I want to crawl into a small dark hole and cry.

It's either that or I hurt someone.

Ahahahah it is to laugh

:::headdesk:::

One of the managers just came and dropped two boxes' worth of filing on my desk.

Two. Boxes.

:::cries:::