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Aaand the roller coaster on crack is back
Mar. 15th, 2004 05:56 pmMy brain hates me. Oh yess, preciousss, it doesss...
Anyway, after a very long, very frustrating, guilt-inducing weekend, I am tired.
I have doors in my apartment, which I didn't have before. So now![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lux80 will be able to keep my darling felines out of her bedroom. My father helped me to put them up, which would have been farcical and even funny had he not been in such a foul mood the entire time.
He volunteered to help me, but I guess that was before. He was really tired this weekend, and therefore was bad-tempered with me.
He's been putting me through the wringer emotionally speaking since last July about my finances, but moreso since the beginning of February, when I stopped earning money entirely (the translation contracts ran out). So he (very generously, I might add), gave me money so I wouldn't be homeless or starve.
Then he decided to tell me that my mother and he were going to sell their apartment because they couldn't really afford it anymore, or else they might have to liquidate some of their assets so that they could continue to live in the way to which they've become accustomed (which, granted, is a pretty nice lifestyle). The reason he told me? He hinted very strongly that I was the cause of it all. That, if he didn't have to "carry the extra weight," they would be fine. Or possibly not, but I'm the one who pushed them over the edge anyway.
So, you know, no pressure. >_<
Then my internet connection died, and I spent four very frustrating hours on the phone with Sympatico trying to figure out why it wasn't accepting my password. They never told me exactly why their system didn't like my password anymore, but eventually they mumbled something about servers and a lot of things I didn't understand and did ten billion resets and then I was able to get online long enough to NPC Nebula for a little bit, and Hermenegildus got maybe ten minutes of screen time before my modem kicked me offline again.
So I got NO time online for Perseity except for playing an NPC and ten minutes for my character, which made me want to beat my head against the nearest wall and cry, because this was the second-most important event of March for me in Perseity (the most important being Romilde's wedding). Plus, my NPC was a major player in the whole thing, so my not being there was Not Good.
Gah.
Anyway, I got to that job interview this morning, which went about as I thought it would. They wanted me to sell insurance. It was a bit more than that. They're a rather large financial institution, so really I'd be "building a clientele base" or whatever, and selling lots of different types of financial stuff, like insurance and RRSPs and other crap like that, none of which I particularly want to sell to poor schmucks who don't want or need it. I refused as nicely as I possibly could, which is actually a first for me. I can't remember a single time I ever said no to someone to their face in a situation like this. I must be getting more assertive in my old age.
But the interview went well, all things considered: I left the woman my name and number and explained to her that my strengths lay in translation and customer relations, and if they ever needed someone with my particular skills, then they shouldn't hesitate to give me a call. She seemed favourably impressed with me, so if nothing else she might think of me at some point, because she did mention that their social seat did need translators. So, you never know.
Oh, and incidentally, if any one of you who lives locally needs a job and actually likes the idea of working for a gigantic financial institution and building your own clientele base and blah blah blah, they're desperately looking for people right now. The catch is that you have to pay for the books with which they train you and then you have to pass a test before they hire you. *shrug* Personally, I wouldn't go for it. I don't think the training is paid for, the way it was at Bell Mobility, which makes it not worth your time. But I promised the woman I would at least tell my friends the opportunity was there, so I now consider my duty done, as it were.
So I went back to my parents' place after that, and talked to my mother, who reassured me that, no, they are not selling tomorrow, but are contemplating possibly selling in a couple of years when my father retires. It seems that my father was being a tad melodramatic, and that it's only when he retires that my parents' income will make it iffy for them to continue living the way they are now.
I don't feel all that much better, but at least a very little better.
I also found, very randomly, an ad in The Gazette looking for a translator from a professor at UQAM, where my father works, as you may recall. It's a one-time deal, but it'll pay the bills for a little while, and thus takes some of the pressure off while I keep looking for a job. I'll be translating a management handbook. Heh. It's all about communication skills, and how to be a better communicator. The irony has not escaped me. ;)
I also have a mini-contract for a magazine called Cahiers de recherche sociologique which I'll probably have finished by tonight. It's only going to net me about $30.00, sadly, but it's a good thing for building up a future network. *grumbles about people who only want me to translate paragraphs* Oh well. The other contract more than makes up for this. Who'd have thought a l'UQAM professor would think of advertising in The Gazette?
In the meantime, I'll have to scour not only my usual sources for jobs, but start hunting down new sources. This "no job" thing is only going to get worse, and the longer I have no job, the worse it's going to get every time I talk to my parents. It's bad enough living with myself, but if I start dreading every time the phone rings just in case it's them or having to go over to their place just because we'll have to talk about it, I'm going to go right back to the levels of anxiety I had about being in the closet, which would absolutely fucking suck. I mean, I came out so I wouldn't have to be anxious around them!
*faceplant*
Why must my parents be so goddamned complicated? *shakes fist at the Heavens*
Anyway, I am enjoying a few hours of relative peace and quiet. My brain has spent the last ten days trying very hard to kill me, and for the last three hours it's gone dormant. Ever since I got that contract, actually. Coincidence? I think not.
I am at war with myself, and I just hope that there haven't been too many casualties along the way...
Anyway, after a very long, very frustrating, guilt-inducing weekend, I am tired.
I have doors in my apartment, which I didn't have before. So now
lux80 will be able to keep my darling felines out of her bedroom. My father helped me to put them up, which would have been farcical and even funny had he not been in such a foul mood the entire time.He volunteered to help me, but I guess that was before. He was really tired this weekend, and therefore was bad-tempered with me.
He's been putting me through the wringer emotionally speaking since last July about my finances, but moreso since the beginning of February, when I stopped earning money entirely (the translation contracts ran out). So he (very generously, I might add), gave me money so I wouldn't be homeless or starve.
Then he decided to tell me that my mother and he were going to sell their apartment because they couldn't really afford it anymore, or else they might have to liquidate some of their assets so that they could continue to live in the way to which they've become accustomed (which, granted, is a pretty nice lifestyle). The reason he told me? He hinted very strongly that I was the cause of it all. That, if he didn't have to "carry the extra weight," they would be fine. Or possibly not, but I'm the one who pushed them over the edge anyway.
So, you know, no pressure. >_<
Then my internet connection died, and I spent four very frustrating hours on the phone with Sympatico trying to figure out why it wasn't accepting my password. They never told me exactly why their system didn't like my password anymore, but eventually they mumbled something about servers and a lot of things I didn't understand and did ten billion resets and then I was able to get online long enough to NPC Nebula for a little bit, and Hermenegildus got maybe ten minutes of screen time before my modem kicked me offline again.
So I got NO time online for Perseity except for playing an NPC and ten minutes for my character, which made me want to beat my head against the nearest wall and cry, because this was the second-most important event of March for me in Perseity (the most important being Romilde's wedding). Plus, my NPC was a major player in the whole thing, so my not being there was Not Good.
Gah.
Anyway, I got to that job interview this morning, which went about as I thought it would. They wanted me to sell insurance. It was a bit more than that. They're a rather large financial institution, so really I'd be "building a clientele base" or whatever, and selling lots of different types of financial stuff, like insurance and RRSPs and other crap like that, none of which I particularly want to sell to poor schmucks who don't want or need it. I refused as nicely as I possibly could, which is actually a first for me. I can't remember a single time I ever said no to someone to their face in a situation like this. I must be getting more assertive in my old age.
But the interview went well, all things considered: I left the woman my name and number and explained to her that my strengths lay in translation and customer relations, and if they ever needed someone with my particular skills, then they shouldn't hesitate to give me a call. She seemed favourably impressed with me, so if nothing else she might think of me at some point, because she did mention that their social seat did need translators. So, you never know.
Oh, and incidentally, if any one of you who lives locally needs a job and actually likes the idea of working for a gigantic financial institution and building your own clientele base and blah blah blah, they're desperately looking for people right now. The catch is that you have to pay for the books with which they train you and then you have to pass a test before they hire you. *shrug* Personally, I wouldn't go for it. I don't think the training is paid for, the way it was at Bell Mobility, which makes it not worth your time. But I promised the woman I would at least tell my friends the opportunity was there, so I now consider my duty done, as it were.
So I went back to my parents' place after that, and talked to my mother, who reassured me that, no, they are not selling tomorrow, but are contemplating possibly selling in a couple of years when my father retires. It seems that my father was being a tad melodramatic, and that it's only when he retires that my parents' income will make it iffy for them to continue living the way they are now.
I don't feel all that much better, but at least a very little better.
I also found, very randomly, an ad in The Gazette looking for a translator from a professor at UQAM, where my father works, as you may recall. It's a one-time deal, but it'll pay the bills for a little while, and thus takes some of the pressure off while I keep looking for a job. I'll be translating a management handbook. Heh. It's all about communication skills, and how to be a better communicator. The irony has not escaped me. ;)
I also have a mini-contract for a magazine called Cahiers de recherche sociologique which I'll probably have finished by tonight. It's only going to net me about $30.00, sadly, but it's a good thing for building up a future network. *grumbles about people who only want me to translate paragraphs* Oh well. The other contract more than makes up for this. Who'd have thought a l'UQAM professor would think of advertising in The Gazette?
In the meantime, I'll have to scour not only my usual sources for jobs, but start hunting down new sources. This "no job" thing is only going to get worse, and the longer I have no job, the worse it's going to get every time I talk to my parents. It's bad enough living with myself, but if I start dreading every time the phone rings just in case it's them or having to go over to their place just because we'll have to talk about it, I'm going to go right back to the levels of anxiety I had about being in the closet, which would absolutely fucking suck. I mean, I came out so I wouldn't have to be anxious around them!
*faceplant*
Why must my parents be so goddamned complicated? *shakes fist at the Heavens*
Anyway, I am enjoying a few hours of relative peace and quiet. My brain has spent the last ten days trying very hard to kill me, and for the last three hours it's gone dormant. Ever since I got that contract, actually. Coincidence? I think not.
I am at war with myself, and I just hope that there haven't been too many casualties along the way...
