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Jul. 22nd, 2003
Every time I think that I've finally got my shit together, that my life might actually start running smoothly for once, somehow I manage to fuck everything up again.
Maybe I have some sort of subconscious desire to sabotage myself.
Let's see... things I want to accomplish:
1- Financial solvency.
Nope. Not even close.
Had to borrow money (even temporarily it stings) from my father. Got yelled at, berated, belittled, and treated like a mentally-retarded mollusc on and off all day. Oh, and he took me to lunch and was so upset with me that he managed to have some sort of weird anxiety attack (it mostly seemed to involve him feeling as though he were about to throw up) which made him leave the restaurant for twenty minutes, letting me stew there by myself. He forbade me to go with him, otherwise I'd have followed.
2- Emotional stability.
Hah! Is all I have to say to that.
Seeing my GP tonight, we'll see what he has to say about that.
3- Keep a semblance of order in my life.
Whatever. I can barely keep my apartment clean even half the time, I'm only *slightly* better at remembering important appointments and what have you, I'm working but not getting paid until later, and basically I suck.
4- Have a normal love life.
Nope, nothing there either. Abi's a saint to put up with me. Anyone else would have hit the road a long time ago.
In conclusion: fuck.
Against my better judgement, I'm leaving the comments on. I just know I'm going to regret this later.
Maybe I have some sort of subconscious desire to sabotage myself.
Let's see... things I want to accomplish:
1- Financial solvency.
Nope. Not even close.
Had to borrow money (even temporarily it stings) from my father. Got yelled at, berated, belittled, and treated like a mentally-retarded mollusc on and off all day. Oh, and he took me to lunch and was so upset with me that he managed to have some sort of weird anxiety attack (it mostly seemed to involve him feeling as though he were about to throw up) which made him leave the restaurant for twenty minutes, letting me stew there by myself. He forbade me to go with him, otherwise I'd have followed.
2- Emotional stability.
Hah! Is all I have to say to that.
Seeing my GP tonight, we'll see what he has to say about that.
3- Keep a semblance of order in my life.
Whatever. I can barely keep my apartment clean even half the time, I'm only *slightly* better at remembering important appointments and what have you, I'm working but not getting paid until later, and basically I suck.
4- Have a normal love life.
Nope, nothing there either. Abi's a saint to put up with me. Anyone else would have hit the road a long time ago.
In conclusion: fuck.
Against my better judgement, I'm leaving the comments on. I just know I'm going to regret this later.
Every time I think that I've finally got my shit together, that my life might actually start running smoothly for once, somehow I manage to fuck everything up again.
Maybe I have some sort of subconscious desire to sabotage myself.
Let's see... things I want to accomplish:
1- Financial solvency.
Nope. Not even close.
Had to borrow money (even temporarily it stings) from my father. Got yelled at, berated, belittled, and treated like a mentally-retarded mollusc on and off all day. Oh, and he took me to lunch and was so upset with me that he managed to have some sort of weird anxiety attack (it mostly seemed to involve him feeling as though he were about to throw up) which made him leave the restaurant for twenty minutes, letting me stew there by myself. He forbade me to go with him, otherwise I'd have followed.
2- Emotional stability.
Hah! Is all I have to say to that.
Seeing my GP tonight, we'll see what he has to say about that.
3- Keep a semblance of order in my life.
Whatever. I can barely keep my apartment clean even half the time, I'm only *slightly* better at remembering important appointments and what have you, I'm working but not getting paid until later, and basically I suck.
4- Have a normal love life.
Nope, nothing there either. Abi's a saint to put up with me. Anyone else would have hit the road a long time ago.
In conclusion: fuck.
Against my better judgement, I'm leaving the comments on. I just know I'm going to regret this later.
Maybe I have some sort of subconscious desire to sabotage myself.
Let's see... things I want to accomplish:
1- Financial solvency.
Nope. Not even close.
Had to borrow money (even temporarily it stings) from my father. Got yelled at, berated, belittled, and treated like a mentally-retarded mollusc on and off all day. Oh, and he took me to lunch and was so upset with me that he managed to have some sort of weird anxiety attack (it mostly seemed to involve him feeling as though he were about to throw up) which made him leave the restaurant for twenty minutes, letting me stew there by myself. He forbade me to go with him, otherwise I'd have followed.
2- Emotional stability.
Hah! Is all I have to say to that.
Seeing my GP tonight, we'll see what he has to say about that.
3- Keep a semblance of order in my life.
Whatever. I can barely keep my apartment clean even half the time, I'm only *slightly* better at remembering important appointments and what have you, I'm working but not getting paid until later, and basically I suck.
4- Have a normal love life.
Nope, nothing there either. Abi's a saint to put up with me. Anyone else would have hit the road a long time ago.
In conclusion: fuck.
Against my better judgement, I'm leaving the comments on. I just know I'm going to regret this later.
I am a subject liine
Jul. 22nd, 2003 01:45 pmThere is no way I'm going to finish this text before I leave for my doctor's appointment. Blast and double-blast. My deadline (set by myself mostly) is tonight, so I'll just have to bring it home with me.
The more this man writes, the less sense he makes and the more jargon and syntactical short-cuts he uses. Is v. annoying.
In the meantime, Financial Services haven't received my FT4 form, which is what enables me to get paid. I'm supposed to go back tomorrow to speak to the guy (M. Laniel) in charge of professional contracts (I'm a professional contractor these days) and see what he has to say. Apparently there might be a problem with the actual request for money from my current employer, which means it'll take even longer for me to have money. Might even go to the end of August.
*sigh*
I think I'll have to bite the bullet and cash in my emergency savings bond thingie on the 10th, just so I don't starve and don't have to face the ignominy of asking my father for more money. The last thing I need is him pulling another scene in a restaurant (or anywhere else) on me again. If it was calculated to make me feel guilty, well, it worked like a charm. :P
The more this man writes, the less sense he makes and the more jargon and syntactical short-cuts he uses. Is v. annoying.
In the meantime, Financial Services haven't received my FT4 form, which is what enables me to get paid. I'm supposed to go back tomorrow to speak to the guy (M. Laniel) in charge of professional contracts (I'm a professional contractor these days) and see what he has to say. Apparently there might be a problem with the actual request for money from my current employer, which means it'll take even longer for me to have money. Might even go to the end of August.
*sigh*
I think I'll have to bite the bullet and cash in my emergency savings bond thingie on the 10th, just so I don't starve and don't have to face the ignominy of asking my father for more money. The last thing I need is him pulling another scene in a restaurant (or anywhere else) on me again. If it was calculated to make me feel guilty, well, it worked like a charm. :P
I am a subject liine
Jul. 22nd, 2003 01:45 pmThere is no way I'm going to finish this text before I leave for my doctor's appointment. Blast and double-blast. My deadline (set by myself mostly) is tonight, so I'll just have to bring it home with me.
The more this man writes, the less sense he makes and the more jargon and syntactical short-cuts he uses. Is v. annoying.
In the meantime, Financial Services haven't received my FT4 form, which is what enables me to get paid. I'm supposed to go back tomorrow to speak to the guy (M. Laniel) in charge of professional contracts (I'm a professional contractor these days) and see what he has to say. Apparently there might be a problem with the actual request for money from my current employer, which means it'll take even longer for me to have money. Might even go to the end of August.
*sigh*
I think I'll have to bite the bullet and cash in my emergency savings bond thingie on the 10th, just so I don't starve and don't have to face the ignominy of asking my father for more money. The last thing I need is him pulling another scene in a restaurant (or anywhere else) on me again. If it was calculated to make me feel guilty, well, it worked like a charm. :P
The more this man writes, the less sense he makes and the more jargon and syntactical short-cuts he uses. Is v. annoying.
In the meantime, Financial Services haven't received my FT4 form, which is what enables me to get paid. I'm supposed to go back tomorrow to speak to the guy (M. Laniel) in charge of professional contracts (I'm a professional contractor these days) and see what he has to say. Apparently there might be a problem with the actual request for money from my current employer, which means it'll take even longer for me to have money. Might even go to the end of August.
*sigh*
I think I'll have to bite the bullet and cash in my emergency savings bond thingie on the 10th, just so I don't starve and don't have to face the ignominy of asking my father for more money. The last thing I need is him pulling another scene in a restaurant (or anywhere else) on me again. If it was calculated to make me feel guilty, well, it worked like a charm. :P