Where was I?
Mar. 27th, 2025 01:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeThe consultation with the behaviourist went quite well today. Well, technically yesterday now. She told me that even though the clinic calls the position "behaviourist," most of them are actually social workers, which checks out. For one thing, I can see how that skillset would apply pretty well to determining whether or not a patient is adhering well to new guidelines, or how likely they are to change behaviours and stick to that in the future. For another, I can also see how many people might find it off-putting or even stigmatizing to have to talk to a social worker for this. After all, social workers are for foster kids and drug addicts! Obviously social workers have a much wider range of skills than that and engage in a wide variety of activities with people from all walks of life, but I assume that most people think that you have to be in some kind of trouble in order to have to engage with a social worker.
Anyway, we had a nice chat for an hour and a half all about me. The behaviourist was almost exactly my age (also born in '79 but at the end of the year) and had a very similar sense of humour to mine, so we had a pretty good time overall. She asked me a bunch of questions, most of which I'd already covered with the registered nurse and with the dietitian, but that's fine, I understand that they have to dot their t's and cross their i's, and make sure there aren't any significant discrepancies between my answers, among other things. We commiserated over night shift work, and agreed that "outsidey" is a great word for people like me who enjoy doing calm activities outside, because "outdoorsy" suggests someone who gets up at 4am in order to go hiking along the Appalachian trail for six weeks. She also had an adorable black and white cat named Hobbes, who is apparently an antisocial crank, and I love him.
Long story short, the behaviourist is very happy with all the changes I've already implemented (eliminating alcohol, caffeine, and NSAIDs, drinking flat water instead of fizzy water, incorporating more protein into my diet) and is overall satisfied that I am ready to move to the next step in the process, which is the Pre-Surgery 2 class. They are held every two weeks, but when I get to go will depend on whether the classes are already full in the next few weeks. Obviously I am hopeful that it will be sooner rather than later, because I hate waiting. I actually told the behaviourist that, and she laughed and wrote my quote verbatim in her notes.
After that, I passed out in my bed until 6pm. Theoretically that made for 7.5 hours of sleep, but my Fitbit informed me that it was closer to 6 hours, and I still felt like steamrollered shit afterward. Of course, now I know why that is. I wonder if, now that I know for sure I have sleep apnea, the fact that I still felt like garbage after sleeping might not have been partly due to the nocebo effect. I really hope not, because I have at least three to four weeks before I can get a CPAP machine. It will be two and a half weeks before I see the sleep specialist to discuss my results, and only after that will I be getting a prescription for a CPAP machine, supposing that's the treatment they decide to go with. I assume it will be, since I'm pretty sure it's considered the gold standard of treatment for severe obstructive sleep apnea. I know that there are lifestyle changes that get recommended (lose weight, stop smoking), but that's typically not enough if your case is severe enough, but I don't think my case is so severe that would warrant surgical intervention. I mean, it might be, what do I know? But my relentless googling has so far led me to this conclusion. Anyway, I am not looking forward to an extra month of shitty sleep, but I guess I've made it this far in life, wo what's another four weeks?
Later today I will be having my follow-up appointment with the naturopath. Now that I know how severe my obstructive sleep apnea is, I'm pretty sure that's the main cause of my brain fog and general stupidity, but I'm interested to see what she has to say on the topic.
I haven't been talking much about politics here of late, and maybe I should, but sometimes the sheet idiocy/lunacy of it all feels a little much to bear. The latest debacle has been pretty spectacular to watch. Turns out several highly placed members of the Trump administration, including J.D. Vance and Pete Hegseth (the Secretary of Defense) created a fucking Signal chat in order to discuss their top secret war plans. A Signal chat. I CANNOT. Anyway, someone in that group chat (I think Hegseth but it's unclear to me if it was him or someone else) added the editor of The Atlantic to their group chat while they were texting about their plans to bomb Yemen, specifically the Houthi rebels. Apparently there were more emojis than I personally would feel comfortable with in a char about top secret war plans. /o\
*weeps in COMSEC and INFOSEC*
I worked for over ten years in a national security setting. We weren't allowed to wear smart watches where I worked, and had to lock them inside lead-lined boxes along with our cell phones before going to work. I can't begin to imagine the level of horrifying non-compliance you'd have to engage in in order to use fucking Signal to text your cabinet buddies about your attack plans on enemy fighters. All of our top secret information was (and presumably still is) held on secure servers with a discrete encrypted network that is only accessible by a select few, and all those computers are kept behind multiple layers of physical as well as cyber security. While a Signal chat theoretically benefits from end-to-end encryption (I use it myself), it is by no means anywhere near as secure as official government crypto equipment. Did I mention that some of these people were in Russia while they were texting each other? Thereby almost guaranteeing that Russian hackers or other agents might access that information?
I can't imagine that this is simply incompetence. The magnitude is simply too great. Every employee at every level gets briefed on communications security and information security. You have to sign multiple documents swearing you will never share that information and that if you do, you could face penalties ranging from losing your job all the way to going to prison for the rest of your life for treason. There is no way not a single one of these people didn't at one point think "Hey, maybe we should stick to official channels when we discuss this stuff?" Of course they will not suffer any repercussions for this, because the Trump administration is made of goddamned Teflon, but you will never convince me that this was just some sort of silly mistake by people who don't know what they're doing. It's treasonous sabotage dressed up to look like incompetence so they can have plausible deniability.
In Canadian news, we're having a federal election. Yay.
Right now this is looking like it's Mark Carney's election to lose. He's not my favourite choice, but he appears to be appealing to Canadians as The Guy who can stand up to the Trump tariffs and give the USA a run for their money. The Conservatives have been turning blue in the face trying to criticize him the way they did with Trudeau, even trying out the phrase "the Trudeau-Carney Liberals," but it just doesn't seem to have any staying power right now.
The Conservatives were in a much better position when they were just bashing Trudeau, because he made for a convenient scapegoat. However, Carney is a more difficult target for them, and it's increasingly exposing Pierre Poilievre as a one-trick pony who doesn't actually have any meaningful policy plans or even much of a political platform other than "Trudeau Bad." The Conservatives started with a 25-point lead in the polls in January, if memory serves, and as of yesterday the Liberals now hold a six-point lead. That HAS to sting if you're Poilievre. Honestly, if he loses this election, I can't see any alternative except for him to resign as the leader of the Conservative Party. He's now lost twice to the Liberals, and if the Liberals come in with a majority I think he won't have a choice. It will also mark ten years of the Liberals being in power after ten years of the Conservatives being in power, which means the Conservatives will need to some serious soul-searching if they want to continue being taken seriously as a political party.
The poor NDP (the party I vote for the most often) are in crisis. They started out as a leftist party and have been steadily creeping toward the centre for years now, which I personally think is a mistake. They've accomplished some great things thanks to their Supply and Confidence Deal with the Liberals after the last election (a universal dental care program and the beginnings of a universal pharmacare program, among other things), but have made some baffling decisions too, like tearing up their Supply and Confidence Deal at a time when it kind of felt like nothing was at stake politically, which made no sense to me at all. They are increasingly slipping behind in the polls, and I think that after this election their leader, Jagmeet Singh, will also have to step down. My own opinion is that the NDP needs to go back to its roots and not try to appeal to the centrists, and also that they need to reverse their stance on gun control. I have thoughts on how to re-vamp our gun legislation, and I think that if the NDP lighten up about ALL GUNS BAD they could actually make significant inroads in rural, working-class areas. Alas, that doesn't appear to be their trajectory for now.
All right, I think I've blathered enough for tonight. Catch you on the flip side, friends!
Anyway, we had a nice chat for an hour and a half all about me. The behaviourist was almost exactly my age (also born in '79 but at the end of the year) and had a very similar sense of humour to mine, so we had a pretty good time overall. She asked me a bunch of questions, most of which I'd already covered with the registered nurse and with the dietitian, but that's fine, I understand that they have to dot their t's and cross their i's, and make sure there aren't any significant discrepancies between my answers, among other things. We commiserated over night shift work, and agreed that "outsidey" is a great word for people like me who enjoy doing calm activities outside, because "outdoorsy" suggests someone who gets up at 4am in order to go hiking along the Appalachian trail for six weeks. She also had an adorable black and white cat named Hobbes, who is apparently an antisocial crank, and I love him.
Long story short, the behaviourist is very happy with all the changes I've already implemented (eliminating alcohol, caffeine, and NSAIDs, drinking flat water instead of fizzy water, incorporating more protein into my diet) and is overall satisfied that I am ready to move to the next step in the process, which is the Pre-Surgery 2 class. They are held every two weeks, but when I get to go will depend on whether the classes are already full in the next few weeks. Obviously I am hopeful that it will be sooner rather than later, because I hate waiting. I actually told the behaviourist that, and she laughed and wrote my quote verbatim in her notes.
After that, I passed out in my bed until 6pm. Theoretically that made for 7.5 hours of sleep, but my Fitbit informed me that it was closer to 6 hours, and I still felt like steamrollered shit afterward. Of course, now I know why that is. I wonder if, now that I know for sure I have sleep apnea, the fact that I still felt like garbage after sleeping might not have been partly due to the nocebo effect. I really hope not, because I have at least three to four weeks before I can get a CPAP machine. It will be two and a half weeks before I see the sleep specialist to discuss my results, and only after that will I be getting a prescription for a CPAP machine, supposing that's the treatment they decide to go with. I assume it will be, since I'm pretty sure it's considered the gold standard of treatment for severe obstructive sleep apnea. I know that there are lifestyle changes that get recommended (lose weight, stop smoking), but that's typically not enough if your case is severe enough, but I don't think my case is so severe that would warrant surgical intervention. I mean, it might be, what do I know? But my relentless googling has so far led me to this conclusion. Anyway, I am not looking forward to an extra month of shitty sleep, but I guess I've made it this far in life, wo what's another four weeks?
Later today I will be having my follow-up appointment with the naturopath. Now that I know how severe my obstructive sleep apnea is, I'm pretty sure that's the main cause of my brain fog and general stupidity, but I'm interested to see what she has to say on the topic.
I haven't been talking much about politics here of late, and maybe I should, but sometimes the sheet idiocy/lunacy of it all feels a little much to bear. The latest debacle has been pretty spectacular to watch. Turns out several highly placed members of the Trump administration, including J.D. Vance and Pete Hegseth (the Secretary of Defense) created a fucking Signal chat in order to discuss their top secret war plans. A Signal chat. I CANNOT. Anyway, someone in that group chat (I think Hegseth but it's unclear to me if it was him or someone else) added the editor of The Atlantic to their group chat while they were texting about their plans to bomb Yemen, specifically the Houthi rebels. Apparently there were more emojis than I personally would feel comfortable with in a char about top secret war plans. /o\
*weeps in COMSEC and INFOSEC*
I worked for over ten years in a national security setting. We weren't allowed to wear smart watches where I worked, and had to lock them inside lead-lined boxes along with our cell phones before going to work. I can't begin to imagine the level of horrifying non-compliance you'd have to engage in in order to use fucking Signal to text your cabinet buddies about your attack plans on enemy fighters. All of our top secret information was (and presumably still is) held on secure servers with a discrete encrypted network that is only accessible by a select few, and all those computers are kept behind multiple layers of physical as well as cyber security. While a Signal chat theoretically benefits from end-to-end encryption (I use it myself), it is by no means anywhere near as secure as official government crypto equipment. Did I mention that some of these people were in Russia while they were texting each other? Thereby almost guaranteeing that Russian hackers or other agents might access that information?
I can't imagine that this is simply incompetence. The magnitude is simply too great. Every employee at every level gets briefed on communications security and information security. You have to sign multiple documents swearing you will never share that information and that if you do, you could face penalties ranging from losing your job all the way to going to prison for the rest of your life for treason. There is no way not a single one of these people didn't at one point think "Hey, maybe we should stick to official channels when we discuss this stuff?" Of course they will not suffer any repercussions for this, because the Trump administration is made of goddamned Teflon, but you will never convince me that this was just some sort of silly mistake by people who don't know what they're doing. It's treasonous sabotage dressed up to look like incompetence so they can have plausible deniability.
In Canadian news, we're having a federal election. Yay.
Right now this is looking like it's Mark Carney's election to lose. He's not my favourite choice, but he appears to be appealing to Canadians as The Guy who can stand up to the Trump tariffs and give the USA a run for their money. The Conservatives have been turning blue in the face trying to criticize him the way they did with Trudeau, even trying out the phrase "the Trudeau-Carney Liberals," but it just doesn't seem to have any staying power right now.
The Conservatives were in a much better position when they were just bashing Trudeau, because he made for a convenient scapegoat. However, Carney is a more difficult target for them, and it's increasingly exposing Pierre Poilievre as a one-trick pony who doesn't actually have any meaningful policy plans or even much of a political platform other than "Trudeau Bad." The Conservatives started with a 25-point lead in the polls in January, if memory serves, and as of yesterday the Liberals now hold a six-point lead. That HAS to sting if you're Poilievre. Honestly, if he loses this election, I can't see any alternative except for him to resign as the leader of the Conservative Party. He's now lost twice to the Liberals, and if the Liberals come in with a majority I think he won't have a choice. It will also mark ten years of the Liberals being in power after ten years of the Conservatives being in power, which means the Conservatives will need to some serious soul-searching if they want to continue being taken seriously as a political party.
The poor NDP (the party I vote for the most often) are in crisis. They started out as a leftist party and have been steadily creeping toward the centre for years now, which I personally think is a mistake. They've accomplished some great things thanks to their Supply and Confidence Deal with the Liberals after the last election (a universal dental care program and the beginnings of a universal pharmacare program, among other things), but have made some baffling decisions too, like tearing up their Supply and Confidence Deal at a time when it kind of felt like nothing was at stake politically, which made no sense to me at all. They are increasingly slipping behind in the polls, and I think that after this election their leader, Jagmeet Singh, will also have to step down. My own opinion is that the NDP needs to go back to its roots and not try to appeal to the centrists, and also that they need to reverse their stance on gun control. I have thoughts on how to re-vamp our gun legislation, and I think that if the NDP lighten up about ALL GUNS BAD they could actually make significant inroads in rural, working-class areas. Alas, that doesn't appear to be their trajectory for now.
All right, I think I've blathered enough for tonight. Catch you on the flip side, friends!
