An ongoing frustration

[mousme]

Why is it that so many people have difficulty with the concept of an "irrational fear/belief?"

Telling me: "You shouldn't feel that way, because it's not true/not necessary/counterproductive/potentially self-destructive," is NOT going to make the neurosis/anxiety go away.

Hello? I KNOW it's irrational. Hence my stating at the outset that it's irrational. I know it's there, and I'm working on it, but it will not just go away if I snap my fingers.

It's like telling me to calm down when I'm upset. Same logic.

"Calm down? Wow! What a concept! I sure wish I'd thought of that before. Good thing you mentioned it! Let me flip this switch and not be upset now." :P

Comments

[sultrysong.livejournal.com]

I get that alla damn time. "You hate the phone? It's just a phone, dude." Yeah, okay, but it takes, on a good week, two days for me to gear up for a phone call. Is that irrational? Hell, yeah. Is it a fear? N'duh.

People with "rational" fears will never understand.

[heartofawarrior.livejournal.com]

A-freaking-men! It's like telling the insomniac to "well, just stop staying up so late!" if they're tired the next day...*glares pointedly at dad*

[swestrup]

The explanation is simple: they're full of stupid.

I think we need a new slogan or something:

"Smart people must be ever vigilant, because Stupidity never sleeps."

[terheyt.livejournal.com]

I think it's a facet of an ongoing myth about metal illness, encouraged by self-help books and therapists.

Crazy people, you see, only need to realize WHY they are crazy, and then it all gets better immediately. Especially if that why was associated with past trauma.

This attitude makes me want to wring necks.

[whiskeygirl8.livejournal.com]

I don't think you were there the night that fearsclave's friends who like to hunt ghosts were there that summer I visited. Well, we were all sitting around the fire and they were talking about EVP and then people started telling ghost stories and I got freaked out. I said that it made no sense, because I don't believe in ghosts, but when I hear people telling stories about their ghost experiences I get scared. The guy that was with them said something about how I should just think of the fact that the ghosts are probably benevolent ghosts. I said, "No, really, it's irrational. It cannot be made OK by thinking anything like that since I don't believe in ghosts to begin with. That's the whole irrational part."

People also try to convince me that birds are OK (interestingly, people who have birds as pets and love birds do not do this) and I shouldn't be afraid of them. Well, duh. I mean, I can rationalize that I can easily kill that bird if I felt it was an actual threat because they have small, brittle bones and are generally pretty small in comparison to me. Amazingly enough, that doesn't seem to change the fact that I have an irrational fear of birds (but only the flying ones. Which is funny since emus and ostriches could probably kill me.)

[borrowedwings.livejournal.com]

Oh, WORD. I hate being told, "don't feel that way." Um, I don't control how I feel. I control how I respond to it, yes, and if I know something's irrational, I'll work on it, but, like you said, it doesn't magically disappear.

I also seethe when I'm told to get over it. Oh, is that all I have to do? Why didn't I think of that? Let me just write myself a note, "Get over it."

I used to be good friends with a guy who was allergic to dairy products. Not lactose intolerant, but seriously allergic to dairy protein and would become violently ill. Without fail, every time the allergy was mentioned, the immediate response would be "can't you just take lactaid ultra?" No, dumbass, I would have thought of that...

[the-xtina.livejournal.com]

Usually I respond with some variation on, "I would never have thought of that, had you not told me.  I shall stop having this irrational fear now!  Thank you so much!"

But then, I despise that kind of obvious-level horseshit more than I desire to be nice.

(I am dark-o-phobic, and I have anxiety.  So I get the occasional "There's nothing to worry about!" thing, which enrages me beyond reason.)

Understand what you do not understand -- is that an unreasonable expectation?

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

You do realize, don't you, that your expectation, that someone who does not have an unreasonable fear/belief, understand and act as they would if they did in fact understand what it's like to have an unreasoning fear/belief, is just as unrealistic as it is for somone to tell you to just disregard an irrational fear/belief. Isn't it funny how, at the end of the day, that people who have irrational fears and beliefs are just as human as those who do not have them.