I could probably write an entire novel on this subject, but I'll try to keep it shorter than that. My background probably makes me more than a little biased on these. I met the only girl I ever truly loved online. I've had other relationships originate there as well. But that's the key for me. They can START online, and that can be great. But for me they can't STAY there. To me anybody that claims to be in a romantic relationship with someone they've never met is either delusional or defines "relationship" extremely differently than I, or I would think most of society does (not that society is always right, but I'm digressing).
To me, all things being equal (although sadly they rarely are) I'd prefer meeting someone that I'd been talking with online over meeting someone in a club or a bar any damn day. There's a certain niceness to me in getting to know someone before you ever actually meet them. Instead of meeting a stranger in a bar, when you meet someone that you've known online first it's more like seeing a friend you haven't seen in awhile. :) Of course this comes with the caveat that some people can be pretty damned deceitful and the person you meet may not be the person you thought you knew.
You may also find that why you seemed to click like you never thought possible online, that you have no chemistry in real life. Crazy as it sounds it's true, it's happened to me. The advice to be careful is extremely pertinent as well. And listen to yourself if you have any doubts about meeting someone. I "celebrated" the millennium New Year's Eve alone in the middle of nowhere because I ignored a gut feeling.
As for how those relationships went from "random internet acquaintances" to relationships, wow it's really hard for me to say. In all of them I can honestly say it just kinda happened. At the times it just seemed like the natural progression of where we were going. And there you have what for me historically has been the biggest advantage of meeting people online. I've evolved on this one a great deal, but it used to be that I was a LOT more articulate in my online writing than I was in person. It's also a lot easier for me to be more forward and direct online than face to face. (read: I'm a bigger flirt online than in person).
So to me online "dating" has definite advantages. But with that said I will NEVER do a long distance relationship again. It just will not work for me if the person isn't within reaching distance. When I was in love with a girl I'd met online, and after we'd met in person and were apart again the worst feeling in the world was the ache that was created by wanting to just touch her or feel her presence and knowing that I couldn't. I will never put myself through that again. But I guess that one depends on the person.
Good luck with wherever you end up going in this arena. And feel free to ask me anything else you'd like....obviously I have more than a few opinions and experiences on it. ;-)
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Date: 2003-04-09 05:42 pm (UTC)To me, all things being equal (although sadly they rarely are) I'd prefer meeting someone that I'd been talking with online over meeting someone in a club or a bar any damn day. There's a certain niceness to me in getting to know someone before you ever actually meet them. Instead of meeting a stranger in a bar, when you meet someone that you've known online first it's more like seeing a friend you haven't seen in awhile. :) Of course this comes with the caveat that some people can be pretty damned deceitful and the person you meet may not be the person you thought you knew.
You may also find that why you seemed to click like you never thought possible online, that you have no chemistry in real life. Crazy as it sounds it's true, it's happened to me. The advice to be careful is extremely pertinent as well. And listen to yourself if you have any doubts about meeting someone. I "celebrated" the millennium New Year's Eve alone in the middle of nowhere because I ignored a gut feeling.
As for how those relationships went from "random internet acquaintances" to relationships, wow it's really hard for me to say. In all of them I can honestly say it just kinda happened. At the times it just seemed like the natural progression of where we were going. And there you have what for me historically has been the biggest advantage of meeting people online. I've evolved on this one a great deal, but it used to be that I was a LOT more articulate in my online writing than I was in person. It's also a lot easier for me to be more forward and direct online than face to face. (read: I'm a bigger flirt online than in person).
So to me online "dating" has definite advantages. But with that said I will NEVER do a long distance relationship again. It just will not work for me if the person isn't within reaching distance. When I was in love with a girl I'd met online, and after we'd met in person and were apart again the worst feeling in the world was the ache that was created by wanting to just touch her or feel her presence and knowing that I couldn't. I will never put myself through that again. But I guess that one depends on the person.
Good luck with wherever you end up going in this arena. And feel free to ask me anything else you'd like....obviously I have more than a few opinions and experiences on it. ;-)