I remember saying the Big Bad Words to myself the first time. The sky didn't fall then, either. It was actually a lot harder to come out as bi about six years later, since I'd got so much invested in Being OK with that previous self-image, and, you know, all that crap about "well, you'll grow out of it" - I didn't want to grow out of it, didn't want them to have the satisfaction of being proved right. *chuckle* It was all OK, though, I still fancied guys :)
Pragmatically, need you tell your mother? I know it'd be hard if you've always had a "we tell each other everything" relationship, and it's horrible having to learn to lie by omission, even if you don't have to lie directly, BUT. Self-preservation comes first. It has to. If you know someone will react badly if you tell them something, it's smart not to tell them. I know, it would be so dandy to tell her and have her say "Sweetheart, I'm just glad you're happy, because that's all I want for you", but if she isn't going to be able to say that - yet (you never know what can happen in the future) - then I think you just have to do without that bit of motherly approval.
I'd sit on it a while. Mull over the delights of thinking of yourself as Gay!Phnee. Say "lesbian" and smile as you say it, even if it has to be done in the privacy of your room. Let your eyes enjoy the sight of lovely women. The buttons and T-shirts and stuff can come later, ifnwhen you're ready and want them. Be at peace with yourself first.
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Date: 2003-03-06 09:55 am (UTC)I remember saying the Big Bad Words to myself the first time. The sky didn't fall then, either. It was actually a lot harder to come out as bi about six years later, since I'd got so much invested in Being OK with that previous self-image, and, you know, all that crap about "well, you'll grow out of it" - I didn't want to grow out of it, didn't want them to have the satisfaction of being proved right. *chuckle* It was all OK, though, I still fancied guys :)
Pragmatically, need you tell your mother? I know it'd be hard if you've always had a "we tell each other everything" relationship, and it's horrible having to learn to lie by omission, even if you don't have to lie directly, BUT. Self-preservation comes first. It has to. If you know someone will react badly if you tell them something, it's smart not to tell them. I know, it would be so dandy to tell her and have her say "Sweetheart, I'm just glad you're happy, because that's all I want for you", but if she isn't going to be able to say that - yet (you never know what can happen in the future) - then I think you just have to do without that bit of motherly approval.
I'd sit on it a while. Mull over the delights of thinking of yourself as Gay!Phnee. Say "lesbian" and smile as you say it, even if it has to be done in the privacy of your room. Let your eyes enjoy the sight of lovely women. The buttons and T-shirts and stuff can come later, ifnwhen you're ready and want them. Be at peace with yourself first.
*more gentle hugs, because*