Oh my God, I am so tired.

I burned the candle at too many ends, and I am paying for it today. I think this is the fallout from packing too many commitments into my evening shift week and into last week as well, especially a bunch of house visits. 

I had lofty plans to do some cleaning today, but mostly all I've managed is a nap. I am trying to view today as a "radical rest" day, even though I feel very bad about not cleaning. I had a therapy appointment that ended a few minutes ago, and my therapist told me that when I make plans and have to cancel them, even for good reason, my brain registers that as a failure (apparently it's a biological phenomenon, I'll have to look it up later) and that's why I feel extra bad about it. We discussed different ways to make plans in such a way that if I do have to cancel or change them, it won't register as a "failure" in my brain.

Anyway, the plan now is to go get my latest book from the library, and do some reading. I put a handful of books on hold, since they all had fairly lengthy waiting lists, but somehow they've all become available at once. So now I have the unexpected task of trying to get them all read in three weeks. A few years ago this wouldn't have been an issue, but these days it can take me a month to read a single book. So we'll see if I can get this done in time. It does help that I have several days off in which to accomplish all this. I did manage to finish one book during my night shifts, and I'm partway through a second, and I'll be picking up the third today. The first two are non-fiction and are fairly dense: Practicing New Worlds: Abolition and Emergent Strategies by Andrea J. Ritchie and Struggle and Mutual Aid: the Age of Worker Solidarity by Nicolas Delalande. The first in particular was a very dense read, and I think would have been better if I'd been reading it as part of a discussion group rather than just on my own, but it still gave me lots to think about. The second one is not as complex but it's a lot drier, so I'm having a little more trouble getting through it. I was hoping to read it in the original French, but unfortunately it's not available at my local library.

The book that's waiting for me now is The September House by Carissa Orlando, which intrigued me after I heard a review of it on the Too Many Tabs podcast. The podcast thoroughly spoiled the book (which I expected), but it still sounds like it's going to be a really interesting and entertaining read. The premise is that an older couple buy their dream home and, when it turns out to be Extremely Haunted, the wife decides that a little haunting never really hurt anyone, especially considering how perfect the house is otherwise. So she just goes to extreme lengths to placate the ghosts, which get particularly rowdy in September (hence the title), scrubs off the blood that keeps oozing from the walls, and makes do, right up until her daughter comes to visit and threatens to upset the precarious balance she's struck.

I'd also like to work on a craft project this week, but I haven't decided if I should re-try the socks or try a new needlepoint project. I got myself a cute little kit that will let me embroider an owl, and I'm excited to try it, but I'm also working with my knitting coworker next week who's been teaching me to knit socks, so it would be nice to have a sock that's ready to at least have the heel turned by the time I get there. Decisions, decisions.

Okay. Time to get this show on the road. I still have a few things to get done today before I pass out in bed again.