Can I blame Mercury Retrograde for this?

I have the dumb.

The following conversation took place Friday evening, with a coworker.

Coworker: "I tried to call you this morning, but you must have been sleeping pretty soundly, 'cause you never answered your phone."

Me: "I might have been gone already. What time did you phone?"

Coworker: "Around 8:00. The phone rang off the hook, and you don't have an answering machine. I thought you were asleep so I hung up."

Me: "That's odd. I was definitely home at 8:00, and I have an answering machine. Besides, the phone is right next to my bed, so I would have heard it rin— Oh, God."



Guess who accidentally unplugged her phone for three days last week? You get three tries, and the first two don't count.

Anyway, I plugged my phone back in when I got home, and thank God that I'd had the presence of mind to email the RCMP on Friday (before I found out my phone was unplugged) to do a follow-up, because of course they tried to contact me during that time.

So I received a message yesterday (while I was gone, naturally), asking to call them back on Wednesday. YEE!

All in all, while I am an idiot of the worst kind, things have turned out for the better thus far.

Adventures in cat-sitting

I'm taking care of the Tough Love Muse's cats while she is away. As with all cats, hers provide me with their own set of challenges, amusements and frustrations. The biggest challenge has been convincing her elderly Russian Grey, Jake, to eat. Jake is twenty-one years old, and is, in her words, persnickety.

He and I, every day, enter into a protracted state of negotiations so that he'll consume a little bit of food.

Me: "Hi Jake. Did you eat the food that was left in your bowl yesterday?"

Jake: "No. The food was inadequately prepared, and thus inedible. See for yourself."

Me: "Your bowl is empty."

Jake: "That's not my problem."

Me: "Miho! Tybalt! Bad cats for eating Jake's food!"

Tybalt: *fleeing in horror to the other end of the apartment* "OhmygodI'mintrouble!"

Miho: "What? What? It's not like he was eating it. Waste not, want not!"

Me: "You're not allowed in the kitchen."

Miho: "Oh. Umm... I wasn't in the kitchen. I... umm... levitated the bowl over to where I was, and then levitated it back. Yeah, that's it."

Me: *sighs in frustration* "Okay, Jake. Have some crunchy food."

Jake: *noses at the food, and eats one kibble* "This food is clearly sub-par."

Me: "It's the same as yesterday, and you ate it then."

Jake: "No, it's obviously different. I don't like it."

Me: *squats down and pats Jake* "Come on, buddy. If I pat you, will you eat?"

Jake: "Fine. I'll eat, but only because you're patting me." *eats four or five bits of kibble.

Me: "Good job."

Jake: *stops eating*

Me: "What now?"

Jake: "The dish is empty."

Me: "No, it's not. There's plenty of food in there."

Jake: "I can see the bottom of the dish."

Me: *sighs and shakes the dish to hide the hole in the bottom*

Jake: *eats three more bits of kibble, then stops*

Me: "What?"

Jake: "You're not patting me."

Me: *pats Jake*

Jake: *eats two more bits of kibble and stops*

Me: "What is it this time?"

Jake: "It's too dry."

Me: "Okay, we'll put some water in it for you." (Jake needs water in his food to keep him properly hydrated)

Me: *adds water to the dish*

Jake: *laps up all the water in the dish, but doesn't touch the food*

Me: "Hey, you asked for water."

Jake: "Now my food is soggy."

Me: *pats Jake* "Come on. Have some more food. You haven't even had 1/8th of what you're supposed to eat."

Jake: "Fine." *eats three more bits of kibble*

Me: "There you go!"

Jake: *stops eating*

Me: "Dare I ask?"

Jake: "It's soggy. I told you."

Me: "What if I add a bit of dry stuff?"

Jake: "I'll consider trying it."

Miho: "If he doesn't want it, we'll have it! Oh, and note that I am not, in fact, in the kitchen. It just seems like I am, but it's really just a trick of the light. Really."