Meds stuff and minor noodling about mental health

Am now Medicated!Phnee...

Saw my shrink yesterday, and for the very first time I was actually hypomanic in the presence of a medical professional. Usually my brain is craftier than that. ("Quick! She's seeing a psychiatrist! Act like everything's normal!")

Luckily for me, or maybe unluckily, I've been going a million miles a minute since Friday, and my brain didn't have time to adjust before I saw Dr. Steiner. He was quite appalled. I was almost bouncing on his little sofa, chattering away practically without taking a breath, leaping from topic to topic without so much as a transitional phrase, and basically making an idiot of myself.

At least he confirmed what all the other medical types long suspected: I am definitely not making this up. Up until now I thought that might be the case. After all, the doctor who diagnosed me with Bipolar II spoke to me for about ten minutes in total and never saw me again. It was all work with a psychologist after that which, while really useful, made me wonder whether I wasn't just full of shit, fooling myself into believing this pile of psychobabble when all I really needed was a good dose of willpower and a swift kick in the seat of the pants.

So, yeah. Apparently not faking it. I think this is good news. I have to agree with kimberly_a that it would be so much easier if I was faking it, because then it would all be under my control. Sadly, it isn't.

Dr. Steiner remarked lightly at one point: "I've been talking with you for less than fifteen minutes, and I'm exhausted."

So, in medical terms, it's time to "crank it up." The dosage of Neurontin, that is. So, for the next three days I'll be on 300mg, then 400mg for three days, then 600mg for three days, then 800mg for five. Then I get to go back and see Dr. Steiner again to see how the higher dosages are treating me. I'll probably be seeing side effects from now on (yay for somnolence, nausea and ataxia! *sigh*), at least over the course of the next two weeks.

I'm also coming down from my high. Mood is still elevated, but my body apparently doesn't deal as well with lack of sleep as it used to. Given that I only got about fifteen hours of sleep since last Friday, I'm now tired. *grumble*

In other news, I got some pretty rainbow yarn at Zellers and am making a scarf. Foolishly I only got two skeins, so I may have to go back in order to make my scarf an acceptable length.

Must. find. focus. to. get. work. done.

Gah!

Meds stuff and minor noodling about mental health

Am now Medicated!Phnee...

Saw my shrink yesterday, and for the very first time I was actually hypomanic in the presence of a medical professional. Usually my brain is craftier than that. ("Quick! She's seeing a psychiatrist! Act like everything's normal!")

Luckily for me, or maybe unluckily, I've been going a million miles a minute since Friday, and my brain didn't have time to adjust before I saw Dr. Steiner. He was quite appalled. I was almost bouncing on his little sofa, chattering away practically without taking a breath, leaping from topic to topic without so much as a transitional phrase, and basically making an idiot of myself.

At least he confirmed what all the other medical types long suspected: I am definitely not making this up. Up until now I thought that might be the case. After all, the doctor who diagnosed me with Bipolar II spoke to me for about ten minutes in total and never saw me again. It was all work with a psychologist after that which, while really useful, made me wonder whether I wasn't just full of shit, fooling myself into believing this pile of psychobabble when all I really needed was a good dose of willpower and a swift kick in the seat of the pants.

So, yeah. Apparently not faking it. I think this is good news. I have to agree with kimberly_a that it would be so much easier if I was faking it, because then it would all be under my control. Sadly, it isn't.

Dr. Steiner remarked lightly at one point: "I've been talking with you for less than fifteen minutes, and I'm exhausted."

So, in medical terms, it's time to "crank it up." The dosage of Neurontin, that is. So, for the next three days I'll be on 300mg, then 400mg for three days, then 600mg for three days, then 800mg for five. Then I get to go back and see Dr. Steiner again to see how the higher dosages are treating me. I'll probably be seeing side effects from now on (yay for somnolence, nausea and ataxia! *sigh*), at least over the course of the next two weeks.

I'm also coming down from my high. Mood is still elevated, but my body apparently doesn't deal as well with lack of sleep as it used to. Given that I only got about fifteen hours of sleep since last Friday, I'm now tired. *grumble*

In other news, I got some pretty rainbow yarn at Zellers and am making a scarf. Foolishly I only got two skeins, so I may have to go back in order to make my scarf an acceptable length.

Must. find. focus. to. get. work. done.

Gah!

50 Book Challenge

I forgot about this after March, but remembered now and tried to make as comprehensive a list of what I've been reading since January. I think I've forgotten a bunch, though. :(

Here's my list (cross-posted to 50bookchallenge). I've just copied and pasted my previous posts here too, so the list gets kinda long. You've been warned. :)

Also, since I haven't really been keeping track, there are probably a few missing which I'll remember eventually, and the list is no longer in order of reading.

( A room without books is like a body without a soul. )

50 Book Challenge

I forgot about this after March, but remembered now and tried to make as comprehensive a list of what I've been reading since January. I think I've forgotten a bunch, though. :(

Here's my list (cross-posted to 50bookchallenge). I've just copied and pasted my previous posts here too, so the list gets kinda long. You've been warned. :)

Also, since I haven't really been keeping track, there are probably a few missing which I'll remember eventually, and the list is no longer in order of reading.

( A room without books is like a body without a soul. )