Forever grasping at perfection
Apr. 30th, 2021 09:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mousmeI keep being told that perfection isn't attainable, but I keep being mad at myself for not being perfect anyway. Intellectually I know that it's a waste of energy and probably counter-productive to boot, but it's very difficult to convince my brain to not fall into patterns of telling me just how much I suck for every single thing I do wrong, for every single thing I say I'll do and then don't, for every thought that goes through my mind that I don't like. Yes, my brain is mean to me about my own brain. It's a whole thing.
I stayed way too late at work today finishing up stuff. Part of me is glad I did because I did get things done, but getting home past 7:30pm on a Friday is not really my idea of fun. Cue my brain being mean to me about taking too long to do one of the work projects I had for this week because I should have just buckled down and powered through it, and then because I didn't it took me until the end of my normal work day. Then I had to write my end-of-week report
Anyway, I'm going to try to do nice things this weekend. I'm going to KK's house tomorrow to help out, but I also want to take Peggy for a long overdue run in the fields. I'm thinking of hitting up a garden centre too, if I can find one that's actually open, and picking up a bunch of nice things to plant in the garden for the summer, and maybe also some plastic fencing of some kind to keep Peggy and Lidan in the back yard over the summer without requiring tie-outs. I haven't quite worked out how to do that yet without it costing an arm and a leg, but I will see if inspiration strikes while I'm looking at materials.
I'm also going to shop around for the start of my indoor planting project, I think. Maybe start with a single mini greenhouse and go from there. And now, for bed.
I stayed way too late at work today finishing up stuff. Part of me is glad I did because I did get things done, but getting home past 7:30pm on a Friday is not really my idea of fun. Cue my brain being mean to me about taking too long to do one of the work projects I had for this week because I should have just buckled down and powered through it, and then because I didn't it took me until the end of my normal work day. Then I had to write my end-of-week report
Anyway, I'm going to try to do nice things this weekend. I'm going to KK's house tomorrow to help out, but I also want to take Peggy for a long overdue run in the fields. I'm thinking of hitting up a garden centre too, if I can find one that's actually open, and picking up a bunch of nice things to plant in the garden for the summer, and maybe also some plastic fencing of some kind to keep Peggy and Lidan in the back yard over the summer without requiring tie-outs. I haven't quite worked out how to do that yet without it costing an arm and a leg, but I will see if inspiration strikes while I'm looking at materials.
I'm also going to shop around for the start of my indoor planting project, I think. Maybe start with a single mini greenhouse and go from there. And now, for bed.
