"I have [experience the "If-you're-not-near-me-I-can't-breathe" thing]. . . but that's not love. It's infatuation, hormonal, and ephemeral at best. Real love, for me, is that soul-deep there-ness that comes with trust and devotion. The butterflies are part of it, and they ebb and flow over time and circumstance, but they're the icing and not the cake beneath."
Extremely well put, joanne.
I also experienced that infatuation/obsession thing when I was young, and it's fun (before it gets very not fun, which it always eventually does), but I feel that it's part crazy teenaged hormones gone crazy and part teenaged insecurity---like, a *lot* of insecurity. A mature love is all about security, about never ever doubting that you love that person and that they love you and that you can trust each other enough to, say, be apart for more than five minutes at a time!
That said, I am (still) extremely romantic about love, and feel that my relationship with my husband was fated and is magical and all that.
Friendships? Not so much. I love my friends, and feel I have a few lovely and close relationships with kindred spirits, but only really a few, and even with them I don't feel a need to, say, call them every day or see them even every week. I have never experienced the BFFL!! sort of relationship with a person who was not my husband. I do sometimes wish I had had that sort of intense close friendship in high school, because that kind of supportiveness could have helped me through some pretty hellish times, I think. Now, my emotional needs are pretty much fulfilled by my husband and children.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-12-06 04:38 am (UTC)"I have [experience the "If-you're-not-near-me-I-can't-breathe" thing]. . . but that's not love. It's infatuation, hormonal, and ephemeral at best. Real love, for me, is that soul-deep there-ness that comes with trust and devotion. The butterflies are part of it, and they ebb and flow over time and circumstance, but they're the icing and not the cake beneath."
Extremely well put, joanne.
I also experienced that infatuation/obsession thing when I was young, and it's fun (before it gets very not fun, which it always eventually does), but I feel that it's part crazy teenaged hormones gone crazy and part teenaged insecurity---like, a *lot* of insecurity. A mature love is all about security, about never ever doubting that you love that person and that they love you and that you can trust each other enough to, say, be apart for more than five minutes at a time!
That said, I am (still) extremely romantic about love, and feel that my relationship with my husband was fated and is magical and all that.
Friendships? Not so much. I love my friends, and feel I have a few lovely and close relationships with kindred spirits, but only really a few, and even with them I don't feel a need to, say, call them every day or see them even every week. I have never experienced the BFFL!! sort of relationship with a person who was not my husband. I do sometimes wish I had had that sort of intense close friendship in high school, because that kind of supportiveness could have helped me through some pretty hellish times, I think. Now, my emotional needs are pretty much fulfilled by my husband and children.