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This isn't working...
There must be some way to organize myself in such a way that I can go to the gym the way I'd planned. I am definitely going to yoga today, but I ended up not going to do the first part of my workout yesterday, and while I thought I could do it before yoga today, looking at my watch now it doesn't look like I'll have time for that.
I feel very guilty for not going more often. I asked for this for Christmas, and I want to go. I just can't get myself out of bed at an hour in the mornings which would make that feasible and still get all the other stuff done that I need to do. In order to do everything I need to do in the morning and still go to the gym, I'd probably have to get up around 7am. Right now, if I'm lucky, I get up at eight. Usually it's closer to eight thirty, and I wander through the morning feeling as though I'm wading through molasses.
Then I tidy up, feed the cats, run my errands, and suddenly it's time to go to work.
I don't have time on the weekends. Sunday mornings are taken up with a meeting, Sunday afternoons are blocked off for gaming, Sunday evenings are reserved for my parents. Saturday morning and early afternoon is band practice, which essentially cuts my day in half, makes me have to write off my morning, and leaves me with part of Saturday afternoon and Saturday evening free. Saturday afternoons and evenings are my only time off in the week, the only time I ever get to see my friends, and I don't especially relish the idea of sacrificing that in order to go work out, as silly and selfish as that may sound.
So that leaves me with no time to myself at all, and even less time to go to the gym. My parents paid for it, it was a present, I want to go, and I don't want them to feel as though they paid all that money only to have me ignore it. That's not it at all, and I really don't need the extra guilt these days. It's not like I don't walk around with enough of it to begin with.
I don't know what to do about this anymore. I'd try to buddy up with someone as a way to force myself, but most of the people I know have lives and aren't going to the gym in the middle of the morning. They go when normal people go, in the evenings or whatever, when I can't go.
I need an extra few hours in the morning, or else some magical way of being able to cope with only five hours' sleep, which I can't do right now. Hell, I've tried lately, and my body just. won't. let. me. If I set my alarm for seven, I'll switch off the alarm clock and sleep until eight thirty. Eight thirty is my default wake-up time: even on days when I haven't set my alarm, that's when I'm up. If I were going to bed earlier, then waking up earlier wouldn't be a problem, but if that were the case I would also not be on this schedule to begin with.
Do the words "catch-22" ring any bells?
In conclusion? Argh!
I feel very guilty for not going more often. I asked for this for Christmas, and I want to go. I just can't get myself out of bed at an hour in the mornings which would make that feasible and still get all the other stuff done that I need to do. In order to do everything I need to do in the morning and still go to the gym, I'd probably have to get up around 7am. Right now, if I'm lucky, I get up at eight. Usually it's closer to eight thirty, and I wander through the morning feeling as though I'm wading through molasses.
Then I tidy up, feed the cats, run my errands, and suddenly it's time to go to work.
I don't have time on the weekends. Sunday mornings are taken up with a meeting, Sunday afternoons are blocked off for gaming, Sunday evenings are reserved for my parents. Saturday morning and early afternoon is band practice, which essentially cuts my day in half, makes me have to write off my morning, and leaves me with part of Saturday afternoon and Saturday evening free. Saturday afternoons and evenings are my only time off in the week, the only time I ever get to see my friends, and I don't especially relish the idea of sacrificing that in order to go work out, as silly and selfish as that may sound.
So that leaves me with no time to myself at all, and even less time to go to the gym. My parents paid for it, it was a present, I want to go, and I don't want them to feel as though they paid all that money only to have me ignore it. That's not it at all, and I really don't need the extra guilt these days. It's not like I don't walk around with enough of it to begin with.
I don't know what to do about this anymore. I'd try to buddy up with someone as a way to force myself, but most of the people I know have lives and aren't going to the gym in the middle of the morning. They go when normal people go, in the evenings or whatever, when I can't go.
I need an extra few hours in the morning, or else some magical way of being able to cope with only five hours' sleep, which I can't do right now. Hell, I've tried lately, and my body just. won't. let. me. If I set my alarm for seven, I'll switch off the alarm clock and sleep until eight thirty. Eight thirty is my default wake-up time: even on days when I haven't set my alarm, that's when I'm up. If I were going to bed earlier, then waking up earlier wouldn't be a problem, but if that were the case I would also not be on this schedule to begin with.
Do the words "catch-22" ring any bells?
In conclusion? Argh!
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