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Just a little bit broken
I think I'm going to declare tomorrow a Mental Health Day.
I've had a better November than I'm used to having, but it's been hard regardless. Also, this stupid migraine won't go away. It recedes for a while, usually around the afternoon, and then comes back in full force in the evenings. It's a good thing I've learned to keep functioning even when they hit.
So I came to my parents' apartment this evening to do my weekly round of watering the plants and watching a bit of television, and to catch up on NaNoWriMo. I only have 2,289 words to write before I hit 50,000. No problem, right? Wrong.
I got no writing done at all. I'm not worried about that. 2,000 words in three days is nothing. I'll do it tomorrow. I got 3,000-odd words written this afternoon. NaNo will be fine.
I decided to make tomorrow a Mental Health Day because the end of Cold Case Files made me sob uncontrollably for ten minutes. That's a pretty clear sign that I need some time off. For one thing, the people on that show for the most part couldn't act their way out of a wet paper bag. It just pushed all of my buttons and suddenly I wanted my mommy and she won't be home until Wednesday and it was all too much. So, yeah. Mental Health Day. I'm going to get some sleep, so a bit of writing, and sleep some more.
In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a bit of a mess. I hadn't realized quite how much of a mess I was until I got here. It's taking every ounce of strength just to keep smiling and to be pleasant with people. I saw five people today, and I think I ended up snapping at four of them. (*waves to friends* If I snapped, I didn't mean it...)
I'm taking everything that people say the wrong way, even when the rational part of my brain knows that whatever I think they said isn't really what they said. It's very frustrating. If a friend says "I'm feeling lonely," my brain hears "You're never here for me and you're a bad friend." If someone says "I liked what you wrote in that one piece a while back," I hear "Most of your writing sucks but I don't want to tell you so I'm picking out the one positive thing I can think of so as not to hurt your feelings." If someone says "I posted about [issue] on the board today," I hear "You're not making enough of an effort to keep up to speed."
I'd like to know where the hell I got these broken filters and whether I can get a refund.
I don't know whether to be happy or sad that November is over. Sure, the NaNoWriMo related stress will be over, but I keep wondering if NaNo isn't actually keeping me sane by preventing me from thinking of other stuff. I guess we'll find out. Stay tuned for the next thrilling instalment in this chronicle.
I've had a better November than I'm used to having, but it's been hard regardless. Also, this stupid migraine won't go away. It recedes for a while, usually around the afternoon, and then comes back in full force in the evenings. It's a good thing I've learned to keep functioning even when they hit.
So I came to my parents' apartment this evening to do my weekly round of watering the plants and watching a bit of television, and to catch up on NaNoWriMo. I only have 2,289 words to write before I hit 50,000. No problem, right? Wrong.
I got no writing done at all. I'm not worried about that. 2,000 words in three days is nothing. I'll do it tomorrow. I got 3,000-odd words written this afternoon. NaNo will be fine.
I decided to make tomorrow a Mental Health Day because the end of Cold Case Files made me sob uncontrollably for ten minutes. That's a pretty clear sign that I need some time off. For one thing, the people on that show for the most part couldn't act their way out of a wet paper bag. It just pushed all of my buttons and suddenly I wanted my mommy and she won't be home until Wednesday and it was all too much. So, yeah. Mental Health Day. I'm going to get some sleep, so a bit of writing, and sleep some more.
In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a bit of a mess. I hadn't realized quite how much of a mess I was until I got here. It's taking every ounce of strength just to keep smiling and to be pleasant with people. I saw five people today, and I think I ended up snapping at four of them. (*waves to friends* If I snapped, I didn't mean it...)
I'm taking everything that people say the wrong way, even when the rational part of my brain knows that whatever I think they said isn't really what they said. It's very frustrating. If a friend says "I'm feeling lonely," my brain hears "You're never here for me and you're a bad friend." If someone says "I liked what you wrote in that one piece a while back," I hear "Most of your writing sucks but I don't want to tell you so I'm picking out the one positive thing I can think of so as not to hurt your feelings." If someone says "I posted about [issue] on the board today," I hear "You're not making enough of an effort to keep up to speed."
I'd like to know where the hell I got these broken filters and whether I can get a refund.
I don't know whether to be happy or sad that November is over. Sure, the NaNoWriMo related stress will be over, but I keep wondering if NaNo isn't actually keeping me sane by preventing me from thinking of other stuff. I guess we'll find out. Stay tuned for the next thrilling instalment in this chronicle.
no subject
Mental health day? Good Idea. Just generally. Especially if it keeps things from getting any more filter-ridden.
And... well, anyways. Call me tomorrow morning, and we'll talk.
Please, don't take this the wrong way. Try taking it at face value.
no subject
And tomorrow night I'm bringing you the little bottle of White Flower Balm for headaches that Ceri gave me last week. You need it more than I do. Besides, HRH just bought me a lovely extra-big bottle of Tylenol, so I'm set for a while.
no subject
... take a look at your mailbox. There's something there waiting for you.
*snugs*
no subject
i'm sorry that i can't offer more
kate
no subject
Snowshoes!
W00t!
*bounces*
no subject