Where did THAT come from?

[mousme]

Colour me stunned.

Every now and then I have minor epiphanies about myself and the way I'm leading my existence. This one came about when someone on a forum I frequent posted one of those ubiquitous "self-analysis workshop" things, this one being, IIRC, "Your Best Year Yet." Whatever. They're a dime a dozen, and are only moderately useful as far as I'm concerned.

This one proved to be no exception, except for one thing: it asked me to verbalize all the limiting thoughts/paradigms I impose on myself that keep me from [insert jargon here] being all I can be, or whatever.

So the usual ones came up: what if I fail?, etc. Nothing new there. Second-Guessing Self is a skill I have in spades.


And then this little thought cropped up:


I'm not important.


...


Excuse me, WHAT?

Dude, I thought I got rid of that one YEARS ago. What the hell is it doing coming back ten years later?


*sigh*

Two steps forward, one step back... Back to the drawing board.

Comments

[pasley.livejournal.com]

I dunno. . . It'd be nice to think that we actually *can* get rid of that negative crap that buzzes around inside, but I'm not convinced. I think some people just manage to live with it a little better than others, camouflage it behind a convincing show of self-confidence, or maybe just push it deeper inside. . . for a while. Never having been able to cope well with those sorts of feelings myself, I can only empathize and sympathize with your frustration.

For the record, and for what it's worth, you hide your insecurities well.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

I've always been a fan of "fake it 'til you make it." That got me through high school, university, and much of my adult life. It also means I got a lot done, even if my insides were a bunch of quivering jelly. ;)

[pasley.livejournal.com]

Oh, so very very ditto.