Maybe I'm just too impatient

[mousme]

Okay, let's postulate for a moment. One sends an email that one has spent days thinking about and composing in one's head and worrying about.

How long after sending this email should one wait before giving up on the idea of ever getting an answer?

Let's add to this that the recipient of the email, in theory, checks his email at least once a day, and usually a lot more often than that.

The longer this drags out, the more I'm tempted to throw in the towel. Not that I have intimacy issues and nearly always end up with people who can't communicate properly. No. Not at all. :P

Clearly, instant gratification takes too long for me.

*sigh*

People are complicated.

Comments

[baronscartop.livejournal.com]

Email is easy. Cheap, even. It encourages flame wars because real communication takes time.

Factor in the time it might make to compose the response properly, or perhaps even the time to read your email properly.

One leaves these things to do at home, instead of rushing them during the work day. Factor in busy evenings.

Five days?

t!

[swestrup]

Figure a day to get a read it, plus possibly as many days crafting a response as it took you to write it.

[whiskeygirl8.livejournal.com]

If I send a fairly new person in my life an email and don't get an answer after a few days, then I send another and a week after that I give up.

But, then, I'm HORRIBLY impatient and VERY pessimistic and inclined to believe that people who don't answer just don't want to talk to me.

Even though I'm horrible at answering emails in a timely manner.

But, if it is something like what you described, I always try to get to it quickly. I learned my lesson on that one. Even if I don't know what to say in answer, I should at least say, "Hey, I got your email and I will answer soon."

[luvenditti.livejournal.com]

I understand. Trust me. I've been the one writing emails that I knew would either save the universe or shred it. And that gnawing feeling of. They should have read it by now. They should have been thinking about all of this and have come to conclusions of their own, and that as soon as they get this (any second now) they will respond immediately. As in now. Now? Now. Yet? Okay I'll give them ten minutes. Maybe it didn't send right. Should I rewrite it in case it didn't go through? Now? ....

... there's no answer sugar. You have to make the sail or bail decision yourself.

[jdhobbes.livejournal.com]

I find that, as we receive more and more emails, we get slower in responding because it just gets lost in the avalanche.

I would give it five days and then send a reminder. Then again, I'm a big believer in talking things out in person. Email can be quick and writing can help get our thoughts in order, but there's no substitute for a face-to-face discussion (or phone-to-phone).

[silly-imp.livejournal.com]

Email is a funny beast. Emails get lost in cyberspace, get lost in in-boxes and occasionally people lose access to their email if they are away from work or their ISP is down, etc..

Don't assume because you sent the email it was received by the intended recipient.

Assuming it was actually received and read the same day:

If the email demands a thoughtful reply, then I'd allow a few days. It's also my personal experience that when an email needs a thoughtful reply, it's often faster and easier just to pick up the phone and call.

Likewise, if you really need an answer or to get in touch with someone, phone is so much more reliable and real than email.

[mousme.livejournal.com]

Normally I'd agree about the phone. There are two obstacles in this case. The first, most important one, is that the person to whom I sent the email is almost entirely deaf and doesn't as yet have a phone that he can use.

The second obstacle is that we both hate phones anyway.

So the first is a legitimate reason for not calling. The second is not quite as legit, but a good explanation of why phone calls haven't happened.

Don't mind me. I'm just fretting over stuff because that's what I do. :)

[silly-imp.livejournal.com]

Now that *is* a special case.

Perhaps a gentle follow-up after a couple of days then.

[djs-specs.livejournal.com]

I'd probably send a reminder at 4 days myself (something ala 'I emailed you the other day and I haven't gotten a reply yet. You okay?') then kick them to the curb if they then don't respond by day 7 from the original email.

But then, I'm also trying to crack down on the amount of running around after people that I do :P

Oh boy .....

[julienne64.livejournal.com]

I couldn't have written that comment any better. You could replace your name with mine and it would be exactly how I've felt in the past.

Are you sure we aren't related??

Re: Oh boy .....

[mousme.livejournal.com]

The only way we could be related is if your parents gave up a daughter younger than you for adoption, and if your parents are originally from Western Canada.

Ring any bells? :)

Re: Oh boy .....

[julienne64.livejournal.com]

Nope, they kept the younger daughter! I had to share a room with her until I was 16!

Must be a good explanation somewhere ...