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It feels like forever...
One day back at work, and it's like I never left. So I came home, heated up some chili (which is divine, by the way, thank you for asking: I added in some hot peppers whose name escapes me, and some spicy Italian sausage, just because I could), and am treating myself to a White Russian (see icon). I may have a second one. I may need to buy more vodka at this rate. Never let it be said that I am not true to my mother's heritage. It's proper Russian vodka, too, none of that shitty Absolut stuff.
I am recovering from a day of too many people talking to me all the time and forever and ever amen. People I had to listen to, because that's my job. By the end of the day, though, I was snarling at the phone as it rang. I did my job courteously and professionally, but in my head all I could think was "Shut up and go way! Shut up shut up shut up NO I WON'T RUN THOSE FIVE PLATES FOR YOU AGAIN BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION THE FIRST TIME, YOU ASS!" Not that the guys were being addle-pated idiots today or anything. ;)
If these little breaks away from work drive anything home for me, it's just how much of an introvert I really am. Sure, I like seeing all my friends (love you all: mwah!), but most of the time I spent in the last ten days was alone time. I puttered on the internet, I ran errands, I wrote letters, I read books and watched some movies. Essentially, I recharged after months of dealing with people. Droves of people, in my space, all the freaking time.
Human contact is good for me. I know this. Left alone for too long, my mind starts going in circles and occasionally tries to kill me. So, not good. But on the whole, seeing friends once a week is more than sufficient for my "seeing of other human beings" quota. Less if it's a large group of friends or a particularly extroverted/exuberant friend. Not surprisingly, most of my friends are introverted to varying degrees.
I think this might be a large part of why I'm no good at relationships. Who on earth wants to be saddled with someone who can't stand human contact for at least 50% of their waking life? On the plus side, it's not like I hate being on my own. I love having my own quiet time, and I like my own company: I'm pretty interesting, after all, and I can make myself laugh like no one else can. ;)
But yes. Other people are work for me, with friends and family being pleasant work and with other interactions being just work. Even pleasant work takes its toll, though, and there are days when picking up phone messages or looking at email seems like a daunting task, never mind actually responding in a timely fashion. Since not doing it guarantees I'm going to lose important friendships (my parents will never give up on me, thank goodness), I've been making slow but sure progress over the past few years, and I disappear less than I used to, but I still do disappear occasionally.
Work doesn't help by keeping me constantly busy and exhausted and away from home, so that by the time I get home it's late and I have no energy and have only a few hours before I have to turn around and do it all again.
Why am I writing this? I have no idea. Maybe it's the vodka. Time for me to start winding down for the evening, since I have to go to work tomorrow. You're all shocked, I know, but there you go.
I am recovering from a day of too many people talking to me all the time and forever and ever amen. People I had to listen to, because that's my job. By the end of the day, though, I was snarling at the phone as it rang. I did my job courteously and professionally, but in my head all I could think was "Shut up and go way! Shut up shut up shut up NO I WON'T RUN THOSE FIVE PLATES FOR YOU AGAIN BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION THE FIRST TIME, YOU ASS!" Not that the guys were being addle-pated idiots today or anything. ;)
If these little breaks away from work drive anything home for me, it's just how much of an introvert I really am. Sure, I like seeing all my friends (love you all: mwah!), but most of the time I spent in the last ten days was alone time. I puttered on the internet, I ran errands, I wrote letters, I read books and watched some movies. Essentially, I recharged after months of dealing with people. Droves of people, in my space, all the freaking time.
Human contact is good for me. I know this. Left alone for too long, my mind starts going in circles and occasionally tries to kill me. So, not good. But on the whole, seeing friends once a week is more than sufficient for my "seeing of other human beings" quota. Less if it's a large group of friends or a particularly extroverted/exuberant friend. Not surprisingly, most of my friends are introverted to varying degrees.
I think this might be a large part of why I'm no good at relationships. Who on earth wants to be saddled with someone who can't stand human contact for at least 50% of their waking life? On the plus side, it's not like I hate being on my own. I love having my own quiet time, and I like my own company: I'm pretty interesting, after all, and I can make myself laugh like no one else can. ;)
But yes. Other people are work for me, with friends and family being pleasant work and with other interactions being just work. Even pleasant work takes its toll, though, and there are days when picking up phone messages or looking at email seems like a daunting task, never mind actually responding in a timely fashion. Since not doing it guarantees I'm going to lose important friendships (my parents will never give up on me, thank goodness), I've been making slow but sure progress over the past few years, and I disappear less than I used to, but I still do disappear occasionally.
Work doesn't help by keeping me constantly busy and exhausted and away from home, so that by the time I get home it's late and I have no energy and have only a few hours before I have to turn around and do it all again.
Why am I writing this? I have no idea. Maybe it's the vodka. Time for me to start winding down for the evening, since I have to go to work tomorrow. You're all shocked, I know, but there you go.
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Coolest.Idea.Evah.
Keep it up, and thanks. :)
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I've lost a lot of friends because my communication skills aren't so good. I'm trying really hard to be better at that. In fact, my friend Erin was the only one who ever put up with my vanishing acts.
And yeah, people. Gah. It sucks being lonely, but sometimes being social is hard.
Um, *waves*
à la Bill and Ted Valley speak.
And this made me say it even louder:
No really, this is freaky. We must talk... I know, I know, "Oh, the work", but wow...
Oh and this?
Just made me giggle lots, 'cause call center people get this (you are, in theory, a call center-type person, no?).
Talk? Soon?
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The problem I've found since living with someone full time is it fulfills 99% of my "want to be with people" requirement, so I pretty much never go out or see other friends any more, and don't even notice for weeks on end.
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If I go for a whole day without adult contact other than Rich (who, like another commenter mentioned, segued psychologically from 'other person to deal with' to 'part of me/doesn't count as work' a long time ago), I go absolutely batshit. Working from home for more than a day or two in a row requires massive IM-bombing of chatty people that evening or sitting on the porch with the neighbors just to get some contact in and feel like part of the world again.
If you need a break from us raging extroverts in August, lemme know, and we can drag Katie out shopping or something for a couple of hours while you recharge.
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Obviously, someone else who can't stand human contact for at least 50% of their waking life, and need a relationship that leaves them the hell alone during that period. The real difficulty is getting the "please stay out of my face" time to coincide.