mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Emoticon)
mousme ([personal profile] mousme) wrote2005-11-18 08:30 am

I give up.

Isn't hubris a great word?

The computer is dead. I'm going to see how much it'll cost to get fixed this weekend, *if* it can be fixed.

I didn't get my texts backed up in time before it died. So all 36,700 words of my novel are as good as gone, as are all 52,000 words of my serial, and everything else I had on the computer. Poof.

I'm taking this as a sign. I'm obviously not meant to write. I'm obviously not meant to have anything that gives me pleasure or a sense of accomplishment. So, I give up.

I wish this had happened before I bought the materials for a new writing project, but whatever. Chalk it up to experience and move on. I can always give the stuff to someone who needs it.

To the people of Bluebook: I'll try to honour my committments from work, but as you know that's unreliable. I may have to retire all my characters except for Bradshaw, since I probably won't have time to write more than one character. I'd retire from the game entirely, but CS1 has had enough problems with their COs that I don't want to leave you guys in the lurch again.

I'm sorry if I'm disappointing anyone else. That's just the way things go, I guess. I forgot for a while there that I'm not allowed to make Plans.

I'm just supposed to plod along steadily in one dead-end job after another until the day I die, chasing my financial tail. Fulfilment is for other people.

I'm not even sad or angry at this point. I'm just sort of numb.

[identity profile] mousme.livejournal.com 2005-11-18 03:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Enh. We have so many teams to keep track of. I can barely keep them straight myself. :P