mousme | A "theoretical" question ;)

Yeah, so, once again Phnee has been thinking far too much for her own good (I think someone posted the other day that one of their pet peeves is people referring to themselves in the third person, which I kinda like doing as long as I'm being sarcastic... anyway), which has led me to this post.

Since most (if not all) of you are far more experienced than I am relationship-wise, I have a few points on which I'd appreciate your opinion/experience/advice/input/whatever.

Namely (this was inspired mostly by

griffen but also by a numer of others) the topic of internet and or/long-distance relationships. Allow me to elaborate (not that you have much say in the matter, and good Lord I've used a lot of parentheses today!):

Up until recently, I had the (admittedly close-minded) view that an internet-based relationship wasn't as good as one based on mutual acquaintance and physical accesssibility.

Now, obviously, not so sure.

So, I was wondering: how do these things work? How does one go from being a random internet acquaintance to having an online relationship? What are the advantages, the disadvantages, the pitfalls, the good, the bad and the ugly?

This actually *is* a theoretical post, in spite of the quotation marks in the subject line (I thought they were funny), but I'd still like to know your opinions on the matter.

Thanks all! :)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Online only relationships are destined for failure, longing, and hurt.

Now, if you were going to meet the person for sure I'd say go for it.

I dated a man I met off the internet, and quite liked him. Sadly, I also had bad experiences with men off the internet (aka: stalkers), but I've gone on to meet many friends that I met online.

If you think there may be some attraction, and will meet, try not to let it get tyoo hot and heavy online till after you met, to avoid the eventual queasines of let down.

No, I'm not cynical, why do you ask?

*EDIT: I deleted this comment thinking I was coming off as a negative bitch, but its back again, as I'm sure you wanted everyones honest opinion. I've tried "online love", hated it each time. Never again. Meeting is different all together though.

Thanks sweetie. I was indeed looking for honest opinions. :)

I'm with her.

But then, I like physical contact; cuddling, kissing, handholding, massages, etc; and I like body language in general. I've had two relationships that started on the 'net, then when we met we had absolutely no physical chemistry. I've also had one relationship that lasted almost two and a half years that started in person, but was mostly online/long-distance.

That said (and with the understanding that I will NEVER again get into another internet-exclusive relationship), here's some pros and cons from my own experience:

The pros: You really do get to know each other. It can be easier to get to know someone on the 'net, and to let more of yourself out earlier (which can lead to one of the cons) than you would in person. Love can, and does, blossom over the 'net for the simple reason that Love's blind (mmm, cliches)... it doesn't care what someone looks like, it just cares about how compatible their personality is with yours.

The cons: It's easy to let more of yourself out earlier, and thus easier to be hurt if something goes wrong (the longer a relationship, the worse the hurt regardless, but the reason for that is the amount of emotion/yourself you've put into the relationship, not the amount of time). Unless both partners are honest (in general about themselves), and open with their feelings, it's a lot easier to feel "stood up" or otherwise hurt. The relationship depends on technology. If one person's on a sucky connection, things can be no fun for chatting. Loneliness in general - wanting to do something with the other person, whether seeing a movie or playing in the snow or going out to dinner - is very very frustrating.
Biggest con: You never know if the other person's telling the truth or lying. Odds of them lying go down if they have a webcam and turn it on for you while you're chatting, so you can see their reactions. Even then, there's some things you can't check (do they really work at ____? Are they *really* divorced, or just looking for a quick thrill? etc).

But I'm not bitter.

A "theoretical" question ;)

My humble opinion

Re: My humble opinion

Re: My humble opinion