Making changes

[mousme]

I came to the realization sometime toward the end of March/beginning of April that many of my priorities have changed along with my new job and new interests. One of the sadder realizations I had was that I no longer really have the interest in gaming that I used to.

I still like roleplaying, don't get me wrong. It's just that I no longer feel good about setting aside huge chunks of time for it at the expense of all the other things I do in life, especially not when I spend so many of my weekends working now. While I get to spend time with my friends while gaming, it's also four to six hours of time in which I could be seeing other friends whom I haven't seen in a really long time, or in which I could be simply hanging out with my friends *as ourselves*.

The same appears to be getting increasingly true for online gaming as well. I'm only involved in one game online these days, but the amount of time it requires is slowly but surely beginning to take a toll. I find I'm no longer especially passionate about it, which is unfortunate. I still like it, and I love the people I game with (well, some of them, anyway, most of them the ones I also know IRL), but I'm seriously starting to wonder if I'm not just staying there out of a sense of obligation, which if we're honest does all of us a disservice. I'm taking up valuable slots in the game which could be given to other, more enthusiastic players who would post more reliably. I have a tendency to disappear when work gets out of hand, especially when I'm on night shift (like last week and this coming week), and often enough that forces people to wait for me, or work around me, and that's not fair to anyone.

So it looks like I'm going to have to do some serious thinking about all this. My IRL game is going to come to a natural end by the end of next month, and after that I won't be actively involving myself in any others. That's not a problem, regrettable as it is to give up what was an important passtime for me for so many years. The real question is whether or not I should still be involved in Skywatch. It's a wrench, because I've been in that game for close to seven years, and I've got a lot invested in it. Hell, pulling out now would seriously mangle a number of plans that I have with other players, and that's a major consideration as well. At this point, I can't tell if it would be worse to stay in and not be giving it my all, or to pull out and leave people and plotlines in the lurch, no matter how gradually I try to ease out.

Meh. Thinking about these things at 3am is never a good idea.

Comments

I understand completely.

[montecristo.livejournal.com]

I played voraciously from 1976 to 1990, when I graduated from college. I haven't played since then. I still love the game, but not the time, energy, money, etc. that it demands.

[joane.livejournal.com]

If you're not having fun anymore, and don't foresee having fun again, then I guess there's not much to be done. Drones was one hell of a mission, though, and took a lot of energy to make go that isn't indicative of the normal state of things. What about reducing to one character, or give it a shot now that we're heading back to team-based missions? I'd hate to lose you entirely.

[fearsclave.livejournal.com]

Gaming is great for a lot of things, and what these things are varies from person to person, so YMMV and all that, but when I found that my life was filling up with real fun and interesting things to do, and I didn't need to escape from it anymore, I never looked back.

Still miss it, and I made some good friends gaming, but between saving humanity from the Reality Deviants and gardening/fishing/hunting/deerspotting/shooting/Carolyn, I kind of like life lived in reality better.

Not to say that if I ever found myself living in town with more time on my hands I wouldn't pick it up again, but right now...

[odheirre.livejournal.com]

Understand. People change. There was a period of 4-5 years where I wasn't doing any gaming. And eventually I got back in when I started really missing it. There's only so many hours in the day, and if you start feeling the need to game, it will come back.

Can you pass your character off to someone else? While it's good that you are considering others, games are suppose to be fun, and when it starts to become a chore, is it worth it? Friends will understand.

On the other hand, I often think *gosh, why am I putting myself through this* (usually two hours before a game that I'm GMing and haven't prepared for). Then we have a great game, and I remember. :-). For me, it's a wonderful creative outlet.

[forthright.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I do know what you mean. I find though that these things come and go in phases. The time commitment is a bitch of a thing for everyone right now and to avoid having the whole thing feel like a chore isn't easy.

[sorceror.livejournal.com]

Funny. I was thinking about this just a few days ago myself. I haven't bought a new gaming item in... I think the last time was at RoyalCon back in October.

I agree with forthright; I think it comes and goes. Maybe after you've stepped back for a while, and/or your schedule becomes less hectic.

[ashforestwalker.livejournal.com]

I walked away form gameing for five years. Then one day I said to a friend that I would like to start again.

Now its my Thursday night thing, just one night a week but its what I need.

If I need to down load during the week I hop onto WOW or EVE.

HRH.

[merccom.livejournal.com]

"opportunity cost" is always a hassel

[foi-nefaste.livejournal.com]

I understand.

I spent every Sunday gaming when I was in college. And some weeknights.

Now, my free time is precious, since there is so very little of it. Gaming is also really time-consuming, compared to other hobbies!

One thing you could look into, if you have the time/inclination, is a one-shots group. Basically, a group that occasionally gets together to run one-shots. No pressure to show up, and no overarching plot to miss out on. Sad to say, but this is the only form of gaming I can really deal with right now...

Good luck with everything else, though - I'm glad things are going so well in other areas of your life! :)

phases

[moonandtree.livejournal.com]

It really does go in phases. I've been in and out of gaming at least 4 times. Right now I'm out of it, but now that I'm local who knows?