Oh, I understand why they're worried, and why the family might think that.

I just find it appalling when somehow, the criminal activities of others are made into *our* responsibility.

It's like hostage situations, in a way. The guy says "Don't make me kill them," thus foisting off responsibility of his actions onto the police/negotiator/whatever. "Well, I wouldn't have killed that guy if you hadn't tried to get in here. So his death is on your hands and not mine." Even though, y'know, no one made him take the hostages to begin with, and the decision to kill was his alone.

Meh.