I've had 4 pregnancies. The first one was an accident -- a skipped month of the pill, got back onto it but got pregnant anyways -- and I honestly felt that I was not in a situation to have a child. I was unemployed, in a bad situation in my relationship, and I just wasn't ready. It would not have been fair for me to bring a child into this world, to have trapped a man (or been trapped with a man?) I did not actually love (or didn't love enough -- it was a rough patch) so I chose to abort.
It counts as one of the most horrible experiences of my life. I was so scared that I was shaking like mad on the table, and clenched so hard they almost couldn't get the procedure done.
I didn't want to think of adoption. I was not going to be able to do it. I'm strong on many things... but not that. Other people here have said the same thing.
Third pregnancy caught us by surprise, but it was a happy surprise... until we learned that the baby had a defect and would not survive. This was an abortion that I chose to have in order to end the foetus' suffering, and not put us through more suffering. Some women who have had the same diagnostic choose to keep the baby because they are against abortion, and they end up with either a miscarriage, or a baby that dies one or two days after it is born. I don't understand why they would want to put themselves through the trauma of carrying a life that is certain to end very quickly and in tragedy. Having had to have the abortion felt like the right thing to do but it was a horrible thing to go through... for completely different reasons.
In the first case, I did not want the child. In the second, I did not want to lose the child.
There are so many facets to abortion, and while yes, the better educated people are about birth control, the less unwanted pregnancies there will be, accidents still happen to people who DO use birth control, and decisions then have to be made. And frankly... it is up to the person in question to make their own decision, not to the rest of society to decide for them.
and for the record... even if you know in your heart you made the right decision... it's the kind of thing about which you wonder how different your life would be if you'd chosen otherwise.
no subject
I've had 4 pregnancies. The first one was an accident -- a skipped month of the pill, got back onto it but got pregnant anyways -- and I honestly felt that I was not in a situation to have a child. I was unemployed, in a bad situation in my relationship, and I just wasn't ready. It would not have been fair for me to bring a child into this world, to have trapped a man (or been trapped with a man?) I did not actually love (or didn't love enough -- it was a rough patch) so I chose to abort.
It counts as one of the most horrible experiences of my life. I was so scared that I was shaking like mad on the table, and clenched so hard they almost couldn't get the procedure done.
I didn't want to think of adoption. I was not going to be able to do it. I'm strong on many things... but not that. Other people here have said the same thing.
Third pregnancy caught us by surprise, but it was a happy surprise... until we learned that the baby had a defect and would not survive. This was an abortion that I chose to have in order to end the foetus' suffering, and not put us through more suffering. Some women who have had the same diagnostic choose to keep the baby because they are against abortion, and they end up with either a miscarriage, or a baby that dies one or two days after it is born. I don't understand why they would want to put themselves through the trauma of carrying a life that is certain to end very quickly and in tragedy. Having had to have the abortion felt like the right thing to do but it was a horrible thing to go through... for completely different reasons.
In the first case, I did not want the child.
In the second, I did not want to lose the child.
There are so many facets to abortion, and while yes, the better educated people are about birth control, the less unwanted pregnancies there will be, accidents still happen to people who DO use birth control, and decisions then have to be made. And frankly... it is up to the person in question to make their own decision, not to the rest of society to decide for them.
and for the record... even if you know in your heart you made the right decision... it's the kind of thing about which you wonder how different your life would be if you'd chosen otherwise.