Phnee, we are so very sorry about that. As I believe I've mentioned, we have very little time for Donalda. She is an unpleasant, toadlike convicted criminal (she and her son had a small-time grow-op in their basement), and the only reason we invited her was so she could mind Gabe, Ally, and Jono. She is ignorant, manipulative, cloying, slimy, unsophisticated, uneducated, uncreative, petty, prejudiced, and unlovely in body and soul, and she tends to get jealous and vindictive towards people who aren't, such as Bonnie and yourself.

I am beyond irate that she would dare attack one of my wedding guests (let alone a dear friend who I consider to be a de facto sister) in my house at my wedding, for whatever reason. And it was utterly deplacé for her to have said the things that I've been given to understand she said (word about her outburst reached me this morning from another source).

I will be having words with the woman, and I will be demanding an apology both to Carolyn and I and to you as well. Would you like it in writing?