I grok this - it was the same thing that happened to me after a while at Bankers. The CO would come in specifically to scream at us for imagined mistakes and inefficiencies, and all I could imagine was what kind of change he could effect in the world if all that energy went towards something other than stressing about mother-lovin' PLASTIC PENS.

It's not ungrateful, it's not unreasonable, and there's no blame to be placed. You ARE better than that, and you will find the proper soil in which you can grow. {{hugs}}