Life With Cats

[mousme]

Cat: "Pick me up! I want to be on your lap!"

Me: *picks up cat*

Cat: "OH GOD, WHY AM I UP HERE THIS IS TERRIBLE PUT ME DOWN!"

Me: *puts down cat*

Cat: "I AM ON THE FLOOR THIS IS THE WORST PICK ME UP I WANT TO BE IN YOUR ARMS FOREVER!"

Me: *picks up cat*

Cat: "OH GOD YOU’RE HOLDING ME WHAT THE FUCK PUT ME DOWN YOU ARE AWFUL."

Me: *puts down cat*

Cat: "OH, CRUEL EXISTENCE! I HAVE BEEN BANISHED TO THE COLD WASTELANDS OF THE FLOOOOOOORRRR WHEN I COULD BE BASKING IN YOUR WARMTH!"

Me: *picks up cat*

Cat: "WTF ARE YOU DOING I DON’T WANT TO BE UP HERE YOU ARE THE WORST!"

Me: *tosses cat to the far side of the room*

Cat: "Yeah, fuck you too, buddy!"