I have three friends I've known for 22 years. Nothing came naturally there. I mean, we are very close and Lisa is probably the most like me of any person I've ever known (I often joke if she was a man I'd marry her) but it's not easy. I've had fights with every single one of them--fights that would have ended the friendship had we not both worked to patch it up. They are important to me. They are my chosen sisters (and since my real sister isn't very sister-like, this is important to me.)
I do not, however, romanticize it. I find that romanticizing any relationship means believing it was "meant to be" and that means you don't really have to work for it (one guy in my unit said, "If your relationship was meant to be and it's really love, then it's easy and you don't have to work." It should be noted that his marriage is not exactly good.) Well, you have to work to maintain any relationship (and a lot of people seem to accept this for familial relationships, and a lot for friendships, but deny it for love. That makes no sense to me.) Anything good in life you have to work to obtain and work to maintain. That's just the way it is.
Also, love isn't always enough. I loved Richard. I still love Richard. I miss him a lot sometimes and still, three years later, have moments where I wonder if I made the right decision. Of course, I did. Because love wasn't enough. We were too different. It would not have worked.
So, I get where you're coming from. My friendships that have lasted this long aren't magical. They just are the product of hard work. One day I might actually find that in a man. heh
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I do not, however, romanticize it. I find that romanticizing any relationship means believing it was "meant to be" and that means you don't really have to work for it (one guy in my unit said, "If your relationship was meant to be and it's really love, then it's easy and you don't have to work." It should be noted that his marriage is not exactly good.) Well, you have to work to maintain any relationship (and a lot of people seem to accept this for familial relationships, and a lot for friendships, but deny it for love. That makes no sense to me.) Anything good in life you have to work to obtain and work to maintain. That's just the way it is.
Also, love isn't always enough. I loved Richard. I still love Richard. I miss him a lot sometimes and still, three years later, have moments where I wonder if I made the right decision. Of course, I did. Because love wasn't enough. We were too different. It would not have worked.
So, I get where you're coming from. My friendships that have lasted this long aren't magical. They just are the product of hard work. One day I might actually find that in a man. heh