Gnarr.

Sep. 21st, 2010 11:07 am
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Eat Shit)
Dear SAAQ,

You can suck it.

I provided official documentation from my doctor two years ago certifying that my medical condition is resolved. You're telling me that the signed document from a medical professional isn't sufficient evidence that I'm not a threat on the road? Really? Seriously?

Fuck you.

No love at all,

Me.
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Anatomically Impossible)
Dear Universe,

Waking me up by driving a railroad spike through the side of my head? Uncool. Just FYI. No cookie for you.

No love,

Me
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Television)
Dear 24,

Against my better judgment, I have started watching you again. Why do I do this? I don't know. I feel a bit like an abused wife.

"I know you didn't mean it —you were just drunk on your TV ratings!"

"Maybe this time it'll be different. I know you can change!"

At least so far this season no one has torn out someone else's jugular with their teeth. Small mercies.

See, this year I saw Katee Sackhoff was part of the lineup, and I thought "HOORAY! A strong female character at last!" Because, you know, 24, how disappointing you've been on that score. You keep introducing female characters who ought to be strong and awesome, and every single time you ruin them by having them be under some guy's thumb, one way or another.

I don't understand why I thought that you'd do something different with Katee Sackhoff's character. Maybe I was lulled into a false sense of security by her four years as Starbuck (who, sure, got ruined by the writers, but started out for the first two seasons being pretty freakin' awesome).

As it turns out, dear 24, you're not even four episodes in and you've wrecked the character's chances with me.

You know, 24, it's not even the fact that you can't pull a strong female character out of your ass that disappoints me. Having a show with an almost completely male bent to it isn't something I object to. I mean, look how obsessed I am with Supernatural, and that show kills off 99% of its women! Sure, I don't like that part of it all that much, but I love the show anyway. I just wish you'd learn and grow as a show, which you don't, not really. You've become practically a parody of yourself, which is sad.

Although having Jack Bauer say "I hate this place," while at CTU this season was a nice touch. I'll give you that. I would hate it too, in his shoes. ;)

I don't know why I'm disappointed, frankly. You'd think I would know better by now.

No love,

Me
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Train Wreck)
Dear Migraine Fairy,

Please to fuck off and die any time now. Seriously. I've tried pills and naps and white flower balm and every other trick in the book all freaking day long, and I am DONE now.

No love,

Me

Oy.

Dec. 2nd, 2009 01:06 pm
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Kingdom of Idiot)
Dear Prospective Candidate,

Here's a tip: if you can't call the RCMP by yourself to get information on how recruitment works, then the RCMP is probably not a career path you should consider. If you have to get your mommy to call for you, then the RCMP is definitely not a career path you should consider.

Please to grow a spine, some cojones, and buy a pair of scissors so you can cut those pesky apron strings.

No love,

Me

Still sick.

Oct. 6th, 2009 11:55 am
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Fizzgig)
Dear body,

I stopped taking the codeine 24 hours ago. Why the hell are you still kicking up a fuss? WHY? I am seriously unimpressed with you. Not only does my shoulder still hurt, but I still feel sick. This is what's known as a lose-lose scenario, and I am unthrilled.

Moreover, you made me call in sick to work today, again. I am horribly disappointed in you.

No love,

Me

*grumble*

Sep. 27th, 2009 04:37 pm
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Fizzgig)
Dear banking website,

I have several inter-connected complaints to make. First off, if I click on "Pay A Bill," I do not, in fact, really mean "Log Me Out Successfully." Second, if I click "View My Transactions," I still do not, in fact, really mean "Log Me Out Successfully."

Related to this, given that there is a SERIOUS bug in your programming that logs me out every time I click on a link, forcing me to re-enter all my information over and over again, I would very much appreciate there being a section somewhere, ANYWHERE, on your site that would allow me to report the bug and open a trouble ticket.

Is there such a section? NO. I had to resort to your "customer feedback" section, and I am not optimistic about your promise to get back to me within 24 hours. I fully expect, given my previous experience with you, that your "response" will be an automated email thanking me for my patronage.

For the love of all that's good and holy, would you just fix your damned website?

No love,

Me
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Lock The Universe)
Dear universe,

You either need to give me more time or more energy if you want me to get all this stuff done. Both together would be nice. I know that I'm asking for a lot, but really, I need a leg up here.

Love,

Me
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Nibbled to death by cats)
Dear cat,

I love you, you know I do. Here's a tip: if you're going to puke all over my pristine sofa, do NOT come and shove your puke-breath face directly into mine and ask for pats. No, really. It's gross, and I am already disinclined to give you pats after scrubbing the sofa.

Love,

Me
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Dead Baby Possum)
Dear body,

I know that last week was 64 hours of night shift. I know you're tired. I know I didn't give you enough sleep yesterday or last night, or all last week, really.

But this is NOT a good time to fall apart on me. I have stuff to do. I have to buy food, and run errands, and finish setting up the basement and the living room for guests. I have laundry, for goodness' sake!

So for the love of all that's good and holy, quit it!

No love,

Me



Dear Migraine Fairy,

Fuck off.

No love,

Me

...

Jul. 31st, 2009 07:24 pm
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Nibbled to death by cats)
Dear Cat Who Has Just Sat Upon My Knitting,

Remove yourself. Right. Now.

So help me, I will NOT be held responsible for my actions if you unravel it.

Love,

Mama
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Television)
Dear writers/directors/producers of 24,

I don't know if you know this, but making your plot even more complicated than before is not necessarily the way to a better show. In fact, right now, about 3/4 of the way through the show, you are dangerously close to what's known as a Thirty-Xanatos Pileup.

Spoilers behind the cut )

Also, way to fail AGAIN at writing convincing strong female characters. Sure, you added in like sixty-gazillion of them, but they're all essentially as ineffective as they always have been.

The only redeeming features were that scene between Jack and Senator Mayer, in which the latter actually seems to have got through to him about due process and not going outside the bounds of the law and trusting the very institutions he defends. Too bad you had to go and undermine it by Spoilers! )

The other scene I liked was the bit with his daughter, who finally grew up and quit being a whiny brat. Sadly, you also wrecked the end of that scene by giving two very competent actors shitty lines and an implausible conclusion to the scene. So, meh.

Overall, I'm not sure why I'm still watching this. I was told that Season 7 was better than Season 6, and I'm not convinced of that. It's less... horrifically violent, that much I can say. For instance, no one tears out their enemy's trachea with their teeth and then spits it out on the floor, so that's a small mercy. Otherwise, though, it's pretty much the same old, same old.
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Kingdom of Idiot)
Dear Self,

Here's something to remember. When you are chopping onions and your eyes water, when you go to take out your contact lenses, wash your hands first before sticking your onion-laded fingers right into your eye.

You'd think this would be self-evident, but you'd be wrong.

Love,

Me
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Bugger)
Dear Shithead,

Shut up. Forever.

No love,

Me
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Recycle!)
Dear Canada Post,

Please to not be leaving my valuable Lee Valley shipment on my doorstep when I'm not home. You are supposed to take the package back to the post office and leave a notice in my mailbox. Same goes for my Amazon orders.

What you are doing now leaves my stuff vulnerable to being stolen by people passing by on the street, and I do believe that it violates a couple of federal statutes.

So, please, next time, do your freaking job.

No love,

Me
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Recycle!)
Dear neighbours,

I applaud your decision to recycle. No, really: it's good for the environment and all that. I, too, recycle regularly.

However, recycling does NOT mean piling mounds and mounds of unsorted TRASH in MY recycling bin.

No, really. I don't want your garbage in my recycling bin, which I take great pains to keep properly maintained. Please to do your own sorting and to get your own FREE green box from the local eco-centre, which is ONE WHOLE BLOCK AWAY.

No love,

Me
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (I can kill you with my brain)
Dear ADD!Supervisor,

Please to not be sending the mental emails anymore. We, your employees, feel that this is discriminatory toward the telepathically challenged. Since we cannot read your mind, it is therefore unfair of you to assume that we are aware of the changes in procedures that you thought you sent to us last week, but didn't.

Kthxbai,

Me
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Reason is a Flawed Tool)
Dear Coworker,

The very definition of a thankless task is that no one is going to thank you for doing it. You knew, going in, that what you were undertaking was a burden to those before you, who quit because it was a thankless and draining chore. Why, then, are you complaining that no one appreciates the work you do, and that no one is ever happy with your proposed solutions to problems?

You know, I might have more sympathy for you, knowing that you are working on this, if I didn't know that you specifically took on this job in order to make yourself look good and to receive metaphorical pats and cookies.

No love,

Me
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Eat Shit)
Dear member of the public,

I am not a civil servant. I am a civilian member of a police service that happens to be funded by the federal government. You do NOT pay my salary, and you are not entitled to anything from me save the courteous service that is within my power to give to you.

You don't get to tell me how to do my job, you don't get to tell me that I'm incompetent, stupid, [insert many many more colourful insults here, the least offensive of which is "bitch"], and you certainly don't get to yell at me.

If you persist in telling me that you pay my salary, I will demand to see your medical records. After all, I pay for your medicare, and so I should have a right to see whether your medical treatment is being conducted the way I see fit.

In the meantime, I reserve the right to hang up on you if you are abusive. I warned you three times that if you didn't change your tone and be polite, that I would terminate the conversation. Three strikes, you're out, buddy.

No love,

Me

ARGH!

Feb. 24th, 2009 11:13 pm
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Girlfolk)
Dear 24,

Way to reinforce the notion that women say "no" only because they really mean "yes," and want men to pursue them. Persistence is a virtue, after all, and not at all creepy. If a woman says she doesn't want a relationship with you, then clearly what she really wants is for you to grab her and force her to kiss you —especially if you're her immediate boss. That really doesn't foster any kind of power inequalities, noooo. All it will do is make her melt into your arms and declare her undying love.

Sadly, because your writers SUCK, that last scenario is exactly what happened. You've set back the equality movement by about fifteen years. Congratulations.

No love,

Me

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