mousme: A picture of Darth Vader, captioned My Fandom Destroys Planets. (My Fandom Destroys Planets)
My landlady has, entirely coincidentally, I'm sure, decided to do some renovations in the unused portion of the house. The portion of the house that's directly under my bedroom. They started today at 08:30, right after my first night shift was over. I've had two and a half hours of sleep, and I am ready to commit murder.

The repairmen are alternating between hammering with extreme vigour and enthusiasm on what sounds like the wall adjoining my section of the house, and hanging out directly beneath my bedroom window and chatting/swearing at top volume. I don't know why they feel compelled to yell everything to each other when they're taking their breaks (they speak at normal volume otherwise), but here we are.

I was about to despair this morning (when I was still trying in vain to sleep through the racket), because the idea of multiple weeks of no sleep during my night shifts is akin to torture. I debated whether I should look into booking a cheap hotel room (which I can ill afford right now) during my night shifts, but of course that leaves the pets unattended, which is not ideal. I'd be paying for maybe five or six hours of sleep if I also wanted to feed the pets and walk the dog and keep most of my clothes at home.

Then I remembered that the timing on this might not be all bad. Tonight is my last night shift for the week, so it means this week there wouldn't be much sleep, but next week my night shifts start on Friday. If I get very lucky, they won't work on weekends, so it means that I'll get to sleep the whole of next weekend. If they end up working on the Monday, then I'll just miss a few hours of sleep during the day, which is not nearly as bad as missing three days' worth of sleep.

After that block of shifts is over, I'm actually on vacation! I will be away in another country for a good part of that time, too, so that means the landlady asshattery should be kept to a minimum! I'm very excited.

Travel will, of course, bring its own set of (very minor) problems. Mostly I'm anxious about bringing my electronics with me on the plane, in a way I've never worried before. I'm less worried about being permanently detained (my white middle-class privilege will likely protect me from the worst indignities), but now that border services are demanding passwords to all social media, I'm kind of worried that I'll either be turned back at the border (unlikely), or that they'll confiscate my phone and/or laptop. I usually travel with both, because I enjoy having the flexibility of having my favourite communications devices with me. Also, I'm always super paranoid that someone is going to break into my house and steal my computer when I'm gone. It might not make sense, but it feels safer to have my computer where I can see it. The thing is, I can't afford to replace either my phone or my laptop if they get confiscated at the border.

So, do I leave my stuff back home and not be able to communicate at all? Or do I take it with me and run the risk? If I do take my phone and laptop with me, the plan is to log out of/erase most of my social media apps, and just keep my visible activity to a minimum. I already have a Facebook account that I've made as boring and generic as possible, and I think I can get away with telling a border guard that it's the only social media site I use. After all, everyone is on Facebook, and it's not a stretch that a woman in her late thirties/early forties wouldn't have another social media account. I don't have many friends on my decoy FB, because all of my actual, true friends are generally not fans of Trump and are very vocal about it on FB as well as everywhere else, but if a border guard just happens to scroll through, it should pass muster. I hope.

Everything else I have on the computer shouldn't be an issue, I don't think. A completely "clean" computer would be suspicious, but one that paints me as a dabbler who mostly uses it for Facebook and Skype should get me through. Don't get me wrong, I am incensed at the violation of privacy, but I'm trying to choose the lesser of two evils for now. I'm going to support legislative change to roll back the interference in citizens' privacy, especially in the grey area of border crossings, but for now I'm stuck with the system we have, and I have to navigate it as best I can without losing too much in the process. 

Possibly I am overthinking this, but that's always been one of my flaws. :)
mousme: A text icon, dark green text on pale green, that reads There is no normal life. There's just life. (No Normal Life)
Yesterday went by in a blur of sleeping, mostly. The lack of sleep for the better part of a week caught up to me, and I slept for a blissful ten and a half hours. Of course, I'd planned to be up early in order to do my shopping and prep for my monthly cooking day with [ profile] ai731 , but that was not meant to be. It was 17:00 by the time I awoke, so there was a bit of a mad scramble to get up and dressed and out the door in a reasonable amount of time.

I pulled off the shopping ad prep in pretty good time, overall, though I couldn't find any cilantro for the life of me. Everywhere I went, it was all mislabelled parsley. Sheesh. Still, I was able to get everything else done, and I even left on time this morning, which was a nice accomplishment by my standards. Usually when I have any kind of sleep issues/not enough sleep, it makes it really hard to drag myself out of bed in the morning, which then makes me late for everything.

Cooking Day was, as usual, a resounding success. [ profile] ai731 had a vet appointment in the afternoon, and we packed it in shortly before 16:00 so I could drive her there. Unfortunately that means she got stuck with a lot of the dishes. :/ Still, the good news is that her doggie is fine, which is the main thing, and I left with a bagful of noms for the rest of the month.  We chatted about fandom and politics, the good, the bad, and the ugly, as is our wont on cooking day. Really, it's one of my favourite days of the month for the conversation alone. :)

I got home without incident and unpacked the food into the freezer. Tonight I'm heading to bed as early as possible, and tomorrow will be spent cleaning the house until about 15:00, when I have signed up for a write-in with a local meet-up group (the same overall group that held the writing "workshop" the Saturday before last). The goal is to get a leg up on my Capricornucopia script this year, maybe not the night before the event. Ahem. I have to say that I'm not really feeling it this year. Last year barely any of my personal friends showed up—it was mostly my friends' friends, and this year is looking to be much the same. If it's gotten to the point where my friends have come to view this as an event they can easily skip, well, why am I doing it? I'm not doing this for my health—I run it so I can spend my birthday celebration with my friends.

I know it's a little unfair to expect any of my friends to come, but I do anyway, and it's been several years in a row that I've had five or fewer of them turn up. It's not that no one turns up, don't get me wrong, but the number of people coming for me and not one of the other organizers (we're four in total) has been dwindling steadily. I keep threatening to stop every year, and then every year I sort of let myself be talked back into it, but at this point I'm not sure it's worth my energy anymore. I could more easily stay home with Netflix and a slice of ice cream cake and not set myself up to be disappointed year in and year out.

It'll be sad to go out with a whimper rather than a bang, but them's the breaks, I guess.
mousme: A text icon in pale blue that reads Winter is Coming (Winter is Coming)
Awoke at 10:00 and couldn't get back to sleep. Three hours of sleep is enough, right? *sigh* I'm really not sure what's going on with me lately. I suppose if it continues for longer than this I'll have to go see my doctor. I'm not keen on the thought of chemically induced sleep right now, but she mentioned melatonin during my last appointment, so maybe I'll ask about that. The kind of work I do can't be accomplished if I don't get enough sleep. Actually, very few jobs can be completed properly without sleep, not just mine.

Otherwise, things have been quiet since yesterday. Not much happened at work, so I alternated between Romanian lessons on Duolingo and Twitter, and when my concentration ran out for Duolingo I switched to a re-watch of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. It's better and worse than I remembered. It first aired when I was 14 (!), so a lot of the political nuance was lost on me at the time, and I'm finding it more interesting now. Now that I know what shipping is, too, I'm very much enjoying the interactions between Garak and Bashir, which are so homoerotic they may as well be banging on-screen. ;) That being said, there's a lot of misogyny that I'd either forgotten or never noticed. In one instance, during a disagreement, Sisko grabs Nerys by the arm and literally hauls her around in order to corner her. I mean, what?!? In what universe would Starfleet Academy not drill into their officers' heads that you should never, ever put your hands on a colleague? Or anyone else except in self-defence, for that matter?

Anyway, I'm told it gets better with time, and I do seem to recall that the first season was a series of stand-alones, some of which were pretty cringeworthy. So I'll stick it out, if only to see the new-to-me Garak/Bashir ship, and to rediscover all the badass ladies of DS9.

Now I have to take my sleep-deprived self up to a shower, and then to work. To say that I don't feel like going would be an understatement.
mousme: A text icon, dark green text on pale green, that reads There is no normal life. There's just life. (No Normal Life)
 ... and yet, it hasn't been that long. Insomnia posts will do that to you. ;)

I survived going to work on one hour of sleep by breaking every rule I know is good for me and buying an energy drink (I KNOW), but so far it doesn't appear to have killed me, regardless of the caffeine content or any of the other content. Everything in moderation, energy drinks once a year, etc.

Last night I increased the amount of sleep I got by 400%! It was very exciting, I must say. On a more serious note, the lack of sleep can stop ANY TIME. It's been a good thirteen years or so since I last had chronic insomnia, and with the passage of time I forgot just how much it sucked. I mean, I remembered it, but in that intellectual way that probably makes women forget about the pain of childbirth, too. :P Tonight I plan on sleeping even if it kills me.

*record scratch* Wait. 

Okay, so I'm clearly a little loopy, but I'm in a remarkably good mood in spite of it all. I got a little frustrated with people at work, but not my coworkers, just the faceless people on the other side of Computerland™ who don't understand how to do their job properly so that I, in turn, can do my job. Overall, the past two days at work have been okay, although parts of them dragged considerably due to my being super tired.

I started trying my hand at learning Romanian on Duolingo, and while the new course is still in beta and not always super clear or helpful, I'm enjoying it quite a bit so far. My lack of brainpower is hindering me considerably, however. I have to revise the same basic things over and over and over in order to be able to assimilate them even a little bit. I finally finished Basics 1 (after revising it five times), and am feeling confident enough to move onto Basics 2. I got myself a notebook, and am trying to help myself by taking my own notes instead of relying entirely on the website. My main frustration is that so far there has been very little explanation about when or how to use pronouns, and when and how declensions come into play. So when an exercise asks you to write a sentence and the program hasn't actually taught you the dative form yet, you get it wrong automatically. They also have a distressing tendency to add new words randomly in exercises that were not part of the lesson. Still, it's in beta, so I'm willing to give them some leeway, here.

Apart from that, there's not much to report. I worked, I played some D&D (a mini-campaign being run by an Internet friend), I slept poorly, I worked again. Somewhere in there I bought pet-friendly de-icer and put it all over my steps and driveway, because Canada is drunk and doesn't know what weather to have, and thus turned my steps into a death trap. Is my life exciting, or what?

Tonight is Critical Role night! I'm excited, but also conflicted, because it starts very late and ends even later, and I should go to bed early. I may compromise and try to nap first, we shall see. I don't want to truly mess up my sleep cycle, but I'm starting a night shift tomorrow anyway, so I don't know how much of a difference it would make. Decisions, decisions!

That's it! Stay tuned for more thrilling adventures in the life of Phnee.
mousme: A text icon in black text on yellow that reads The avalanche has started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote (Avalanche)
I have insomnia tonight, for whatever reason. It's not anxiety, I just can't seem to sleep. I managed to sleep lightly from about 22:10 to 23:10, but then was awoken by a Dog Emergency™, and then couldn't get back to sleep to save my life. So I guess tomorrow will be managed on an hour of broken sleep. Super.

I don't have much to report, on the personal front. I got my errands done, except for one, which I totally forgot about and which I will try to get to after work tomorrow, since it's right next door. I even got *shudder* new clothes. I hate clothes shopping, which is probably not news to any of you. I also came in way under budget due to a surprise sale and my own birthday discount, so yay for that!

Therapy was interesting. We broached the subject of my former relationship, and the fallout from that. I'm still kind of bitter about how it all went down, but the feelings have faded over time. It'll be informative to explore that, I guess, and see if some of my current behaviours stem from what I "learned" from that experience.

In other news, the US has gone more insane than usual. My Twitter timeline has been alternating between President Obama's farewell speech, discussions of outright treason by the President-elect, and urination jokes. It's surreal.

In which I discuss Trump, so you can skip it if you're sick of hearing about him )

By contrast, the current President's final address was a fine example of statesmanship. I am a fan of Obama, it's true, though his policies lean too much to the right for me to be comfortable with them. Sure, he's to the left of Republicans, but there is no left-wing in America, as far as I can tell, apart from a minority who don't ever seem to be able to contend with the two big parties anyway. There's the extreme right and the moderate right, and the moderate right seems to have a better grasp of human rights than their opponents. I digress.

The speech moved a lot of people to tears. It was eloquent and promised hope, while underlining all the progress that was made over the past eight years. All my reservations aside, Obama did a lot to turn the US around after the disastrous eight years of the Bush administration. He delivered a touching tribute to his wife, and generally was a class act. It was a pleasure to watch.

It's now 02:00, and I have to be "up" in about two hours. I still don't think sleep is going to happen, but I might attempt a power nap or something. You never know.

A Full Day

May. 8th, 2014 09:30 pm
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Bee)
Last night my brain decided that I should stay up and Worry About All The Things™. So I was up until at least after 2:30, which was the last time I remember looking at the clock before falling asleep. The good side to that was that I was awake at midnight when Bean woke up screaming bloody murder because he had to go to the bathroom. He's been getting up almost every night now to pee, and that has resulted in dry diapers in the morning. So we're well on our way to having him be completely diaper-free at this rate. It's very exciting!

Bean was also up promptly at 6:20, and since he came into our room to ask his mother if he could watch television, that was loud enough to wake me as well (mostly because he started whining and then screaming when she said no), although I had set my alarm for 6:30. So I got up then too, much to Bean's befuddlement. He's not used to my getting up at the same time as him and Mama.

We got Bean fed, dressed and out the door on time (three tantrums, four instances of whining and fussing, and two instances of running away and giggling instead of doing what he was told, all in the space of an hour and fifteen minutes), and I set about trying to be productive for the rest of the day.

My first stop was at the bank (though I did call to make an appointment to get my car tires changed, finally). I took the dog with me because he needed the exercise and because he was so excited when he saw me put on my running shoes to go to the bank that I didn't have the heart to tell him that I hadn't planned on taking him with me. So, happy dog was happy. I managed to straighten out the problem of the daycare check that the bank bounced, and was very pleased with the prompt, efficient service I received from the teller. They apologised (sort of), reversed all the charges and covered the fee the daycare will charge for a returned check, no muss, no fuss. If only all my problems were so easily solved.

I got home and cleaned the bathroom, and was about to start on the kitchen when [ profile] pdaughter came back from school to wait for the Avon ladies to show up for their 14:30 meeting. As an aside, [ profile] pdaughter is starting up her own Avon business again, so if anyone local wants the flyers for the current or future campaigns, by all means look us up! Avon has some really neat stuff, not just makeup and skin care products. You can look it up specifically on Facebook, where I encourage you to at least "like" her page, just in case. Father's Day is just around the corner, and there are all sorts of fun products and swag you can get for a very reasonable price!

Anyway, back to the exciting recounting of my day. :P I did a pretty thorough cleaning of the kitchen while we waited for the Avon ladies (they were well over an hour late due to traffic), including scrubbing down the cabinet under the kitchen sink, which had grown super scungy over the winter. We've been having trouble with ants for a few weeks, and I figured that cleaning things out down there certainly couldn't hurt. We have ant traps set up strategically, but we can't work out where they're coming from, cheeky little buggers. So right now we're mostly engaged in guerrilla warfare against the little formicidae foot soldiers. Ugh. If we knew where they were coming from we'd be able to put down corn starch and have done, but not dice. It's rather frustrating.

I headed out to do some last-minute grocery shopping before the Avon ladies arrived, but everyone was gone by the time I got home again. Despite getting caught in some pretty gnarly traffic I was still able to get dinner in the oven in a timely fashion. I don't think I've ever cleaned and chopped vegetables that fast in my whole life. I made chicken with roasted vegetables and made baked tomatoes as a side dish. Very paleo, I'm sure [ profile] fearsclave would approve. ;)

Predictably, Bean's first reaction was: "But me not like that!" He demanded to have macaroni, then demanded "leftover pizza," and was upset when he was not presented with either of those options. I hadn't bothered giving him one of the baked tomatoes, figuring it would be met with shrieks of horror, but when he saw the one I'd given [ profile] pdaughter he immediately insisted on having some, spurning the chicken, potatoes, carrots and green pepper already on his plate. After two small servings of tomato he then threw himself on the floor and wailed about being thirsty, and then whined and fussed and kicked at the nearest piece of furniture when he was instructed to eat a bit more before he'd be given more milk. It took some doing, but eventually we got him back into his chair, and after a bit more fussing he ate all his carrots, then tried the chicken and promptly finished that, and even managed a good number of his potatoes.

A pyrrhic victory, but one I'll take nonetheless.

Bean took a bath while I loaded the dishes into the dishwasher and put away the rest of dinner into Tupperware containers. We have enough for at least one other meal, which is nice. The food turned out delicious, if I do say so myself. The chicken was moist, the veggies crisp and savoury (though the carrots were a tad too crunchy for my liking—I'll try cutting them thinner the next time I make this dish).

Although he was wound tighter than a spring factory, Bean actually settled relatively quickly once he was properly in bed (there were a lot of false starts to that), and so we were actually able to start Game of Thrones at a decent hour, and now we're going crazy and watching CSI as well. Two TV shows in the same evening! Unheard of!

Tomorrow it's meant to rain, which will put a damper on my plans to do yard work. I may try to organise my paperwork instead, depending on the weather. I have been very bad about keeping my papers in any kind of semblance of order, and it's my newest May project, to get it all sorted out properly into my filing cabinet. That will definitely help when it comes time to sell the house/do my taxes/that sort of thing. If I have time I'm also going to head to Home Depot. I am determined to get the garden ship-shape this weekend and next weekend so that we can take advantage of it during the summer months.

And now, to finish CSI and pray that I'll actually be able to sleep tonight. Obviously when I mentioned almost wishing for insomnia the other day, I should have been more careful about what I wished for. :P


Aug. 4th, 2008 02:20 am
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (If Life Were Fair)
I don't want to call in sick to work...

On the other hand, how effective will I be on no sleep and migraine candy?


This sucks. I have about two and a half hours to make up my mind one way or the other.


Aug. 4th, 2008 01:01 am
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Bad for Zathras)
Dear body,

First with the oversleeping. Then the migraine. Now insomnia?

I have to be at work in five and a half hours. You cost me my day of cleaning.

Fuck you.

No love,



Dear Migraine Fairy,

That last post was NOT an invitation to come back.

No love,

mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Sleeping Dogs)
I have to get up at Stupid O'Clock tomorrow morning to bring in the car for repairs. The land-boat has begun leaking oil from no fewer than three different places. This is a Bad Thing™. Naturally, my body is resisting the idea of getting up early by refusing to go to sleep. Bleah.

I am behind on my writing, but I don't think I shall be able to remedy that any time soon, as I have cleaning to do in this place. If I'm not too dead tomorrow after bringing the car to the garage, then I shall make a valiant attempt at cleaning tomorrow morning. I also have to go grocery shopping.

Isn't my life fascinating? :P

Not everything can be about cute girls, after all.
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (News Flash!)
Sleep was an elusive beast last night. I think that I may have discovered my limit of caffeine intake at work if I want to get a good night's sleep. Oops.

Many thanks to everyone who responded to my request for writing prompts yesterday. I have several lovely ideas percolating now. I expect that there will be at least one new story by the end of the week (give or take). For those of you who missed the post, it's not too late! There is no deadline for submissions. ;)

Today I have breakfast with the Parenal Units, and then I shall be helping [ profile] kino_kid to move into her new digs. Much excitement there. I've been told that there's a possibility an ex of mine might be showing up (the one really acrimonious break-up I had about five years ago), so it'll be interesting to see if I can live up to my own expectations about acting like a grown-up. Supposing the ex even turns up, which I'm not sure about. I'm not particularly worried, but I do hope that I can rise to the occasion.

I'm also going to try to head by Canadian Tire and do some pricing on vacuum cleaners. My Shark vacuum has proved unequal to the task of dealing with four cats and all the attendant cat hair. I hear from some of my coworkers that even industrial-strength vacuums can be obtained at decent prices, and are more than equal to cat hair, as they are designed to pick up gyproc dust. w00t!

Tomorrow I'm heading back to Meeting after nearly three months of absence, due to work and scheduling-related problems. I've missed it more than I thought I would. After that I plan on taking a very long walk on Mount Royal, weather permitting. I haven't spent nearly as much time outside as I would have liked over the past few weeks, so I plan on taking advantage of any fine weather that comes my way.

And now, off I go to reboot the laundry. The one advantage of insomnia is that it allows one to get a headstart on the day.


Nov. 16th, 2006 11:47 pm
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Zombies)
I now have a zombie icon. I figured it was about time. Also, it reflects my current state of being. I was planning on making an early night of it, but the Paternal Unit had other ideas, and so I've only been home for about 15 minutes. Going to go pass out now. No writing today. Writing tomorrow. Yes.


:::keels over:::
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Dead Baby Possum)
Funny how a bout of insomnia can screw up the best-laid plans. Gah.

So here's how last night went:

Me: "Oh, look. 11:30. I should go to bed." *proceeds to do so*


Body: "Shut up. Sleeping." *keeps eyes closed*


Body: "Shut up. Sleeping." *keeps eyes closed*


Body: "Shut up. Sleeping." *keeps eyes closed*


Body: "Can't hear you. Shut up. Trying to sleep."


Body: "Can't hear you! La la la la!" *sticks fingers in ears*

Etc. It was really weird. I wasn't sleeping, but I couldn't get my body to do anything except lie there with my eyes closed. I've never had that happen before. I think I got to sleep a little past 3am, but I'm not sure. Now I have a blinding headache and no energy to do anything except drag my sorry self around the apartment a bit.


mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Make it so)
I'm tired, but the cleaning is nowhere near where it should be. Taking a quick break because I am very very sweaty and blech.

My mother has generously offered to come in Friday afternoon and do a bit of cleaning for me. That means I have to make sure this place is damned well presentable for when she gets here. Bad enough the place being a mess without having to submit to maternal disapproval on top of it all.

Apart from my complete and total session of moaning written here above, the cleaning is actually going pretty well. Slowly, but well. The apartment is about 40% cleaner than yesterday, and about 50% cleaner than it was on Monday. I don't know how that math works, please don't ask.

I've cleaned out the refrigerator, done almost all of my dishes, and gotten rid of a TON of stuff already. There's another ton waiting to be discarded, but the place already feels lighter. The problem with cleaning out the fridge is that now I'm hungry and there's nothing to eat in here. Well, there wasn't anything to eat before, but at least I had the illusion that there was food. I may have to venture out later in search of vittles.


Tired does not begin to describe what I'm feeling. Bouts of insomnia this week have not helped. I wish that my insomnia was more produuctive. If I was completely awake, for instance, then I'd be able to bop around the apartment and clean. Instead I seem to be spending my nights one-quarter asleep, shifting around restlessly and not actually deriving any benefit at all from this state of semi-wakefulness. It's most frustrating.

I think I may try to go to bed early. Like, say, now. Then I'll get up early and continue my cleaning. Maybe it's wishful thinking that has me believing I'll be able to get up that early tomorrow. Maybe not. I'm willing to give it a shot, as I am fagged.

Oh, and Gratuitous Start Trek Icon! Just because.


Aug. 6th, 2006 11:17 am
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Frog)

There were ducks behind the Séminaire when I walked up from Atwater to my parents' place on Dr. Penfield. Mallards, I think. A mother duck and nine almost fully-grown ducklings bopping around in that long stretch of stagnant water which isn't a basin and isn't a pond and isn't a fountain. They have two duck decoys in there, so I assume they want to attract the ducks, who were having a great time and eating what I assume were bugs living in the massive amounts of scungy brown algae growing in the water.

I have a soft spot for ducks. Always have. There's something very joyful about the way they bop around on the water's surface.

That is all.
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Vengeance for the butt!)
Dear Insomnia Fairy,

Feel free to fuck off. I did not invite you over, and I don't need your "blessing," thank you very much. I want to go to sleep now. And no, lying in the dark with my eyes closed is not 75% as effective as sleep. I tried that in university, and it didn't work.

Like I said before: fuck off.

I'm going back to bed now. You better be gone next time I look.

No love at all,

mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Window)
Anytime you want to let me sleep would be good. Seriously, anytime now...
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (George (tongue))
I'm going to bed right after this, promise.

Very fun and productive writing jam with [ profile] toughlovemuse tonight. One day she will learn not to be polite with me and tell me to shut up when she needs to concentrate. ;) However, I got a fair bit of writing done on my swan story (which still doesn't have a title), and the macaroni and cheese was delicious. Not to mention that [ profile] chibipunkdemon (at the behest of his lovely wife) made the ultimate sacrifice and went out to the store to buy Fig Newtons. They only had Date Newtons apparently, but it was close enough. Clearly, [ profile] toughlovemuse has lucked out in her choice of husbands.

The CAM is driving me batshit. 'Nuff said.

My sleep patterns have gone all wonky. Mostly I've been having annoying panic attacks in the middle of the night which prevent me from sleeping properly. I sort of almost wake up, gripped with [insert completely stupid and irrational fear here| and still halfway dreaming, and I stay that way for anywhere from thirty seconds to twenty minutes, until I can wake myself up completely. Then I have to get myself back to sleep properly. Lather, rinse, repeat. Repeat that two or three times a night, and you have yourself some pretty damned broken sleep.

Up until today I was functioning pretty well, but at work today I noticed that my mood swung severely into the "cranky" zone. I was planning on taking a Seroquel tonight, which my meds doc told me I should do if my sleep ever gets way out of whack again, but it tends to knock me out for a very long time, and I got home late tonight. So, rather than either oversleep tomorrow or else be a zombie all day, I shall cross my fingers and hope for a good night's sleep, and if not I shall take the Seroquel tomorrow night.

In other news, I am enjoying "A Feast For Crows" a good deal, although so far I am missing some of my favourite characters, aned other characters I don't care about as much, but about whom I'd still like to hear. Tyrion and Bran and Daenerys and all those folk. I wonder if they'll be in the other half of the book that didn't get published. I really like poor Podrik Payne. He breaks my heart.

Okay. I had more to say, but my brain is melting. Bed.

I'm awake!

Apr. 11th, 2006 02:44 am
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Gahoogy hoo! Coffee!)
Insomnia sucks.

Bouncing randomly off walls all day and into the night. Overslept this morning, although I only got about three hours' sleep. Maybe less. Broken sleep. Yay.

It's three o'clock in the morning. Do you know where your sleep patterns are?

Can't blame it on the coffee. Had that this morning. Three cups. Three cups of coffee. Three hours of sleep. Balance. Or lack thereof. Whee! Definitely not the coffee. Can't possibly last that long in one's system, can it? Last cup was at ten o'clock. Seventeen hours ago. Definitely not the coffee.

Hey, stream-of-consciousness posting! Whee! Should that be hyphenated? Don't know. I ought to know. Don't recall. Not important right now. It's my LJ and I'll hyphenate random words if I want to.

Been watching Dead Like Me. Note to self: watching shows about death and the afterlife (or lack thereof) when dealing with insomnia is baaaaad. Too much thinking involved. Funny that. Thinking about stuff just because you watch a tv show. Most people don't. Think, that is. Thinking about stuff/things/whatever/insert generic word here/yay just because they watched a random program on television.

Not that I've been watching it on television, mind. It's on at stupidass o'clock on Sundays, along with Slings & Arrows which comes right afterward, which means I'm never near a tv with cable in order to watch it. But I found it at my local Videotron place where I can rent three old DVDs (and by old I mean not all that old but not a new release) for somewhere along the lines of five dollars, and who am I to say no to something like twelve straight hours of television for five bucks? Beats cable any day.

No commercials, for one thing. Commercials are fucking stupid. People who come up with commercials think viewers are idiots, and treat them accordingly. Makes me want to scream at the television. Do enough screaming at the television during the programs, for different reasons. So, no shouting during commercials. I turn off the sound.

I ought to go to bed. I mean, try to sleep, that is. Technically I'm already in bed. Laptops are teh awesome. Thing is, I'm halfway tempted to just say "Fuck it" and stay awake the remaining three or so hours before I have to get up again to go to work. Three and a half? Maybe four. I can usually get away with sleeping until seven, even if it means I have to run like a running thing.

If I go to sleep now (all very theoretical at this point), I'll very likely oversleep. Same as yesterday. Sleeping patterns fucked all to hell. I have to stop watching that show: it's making my language foul. Gotta watch it, or I'll start swearing at work, and where will that get me? Don't want to oversleep: I have to wash my hair in the morning, and I can't do that if I'm asleep. Hair stays disgusting if I oversleep.

On the other hand, band practice in the evening. The question is, if I'm sleep-deprived, what happens? Either I'll be a zombie, or I'll be a spastic mess. Either way, badness.

Forgot to buy applesauce for my lunches at work. Not the end of the world, but still annoying. Lots of other stuff to talk about, too. Work stuff, cat stuff, band stuff, even television and movie stuff. Not tonight, though. Another time. Maybe never, knowing me. Flakey!Phnee is the name of the game right now. At least when it comes to my own affairs. Been trying to stay on top of my phone messages, but that's not really happening. Not on top of my emails, either. I've read them all, am behind on answering them. Bad, bad Phnee.

Work on the other hand is going swimmingly. L should totally develop tendonitis more often. I kicked the ass of the filing and took names. I now officially have no filing left until someone dumps more on my desk tomorrow, which I'm sure will happen. I've put out more fires and dealt with new and emergency situations, and I still have three days left all on my own. In short, I rock like a rocking thing. Or file like a filing thing. Can one file like a rocking thing? Why the hell not? I am The Rocking Thing, and since I file, I assume anyone could file like me and thus file like a rockin thing.

Should definitely be going to bed. Sleep, bed, whatever. Something involving not being awake.

The girl who plays Kaylee had a guest role on Dead Like Me playing a punk girl in a music store. It felt almost wrong to hear her say "Fuck." I was amused, randomly.

Started writing that story that's been rattling around in my head today, finally. Been meaning to get to it since November. Finding it hard to get the voice of the narrator just right. He sounds too old: he's supposed to be eleven and he sounds like he's, well, my age. Not good. It'll come. I figured out his name, though, after all this time, and his brother's. He had no name for the longest time until I finally figured out that his parents were Steinbeck fans. And suddenly this huge facet of character motivation fell into place. I love it when that happens.

Lots of writing projects to work on. Beyond the Pale is coming along nicely. I have to rewrite Into Temptation, which I really don't want to do, having put in all that effort in November, but it needs to be done. *sigh*

Fuck it. Bed. Sleep. Lack of sleep. Whatever. Tossing and turning in the dark at least gets points for effort, right? Right. Going now. Ta!
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (A little whimsical)
Simon & Garfunkel in my head.

Sign #1 that Phnee is on a downswing: it's nearly 1am, and I'm not asleep.

Damn. There have been other signs. I should have watched more carefully.


Move along, nothing to see here. Maybe it'll be gone by tomorrow. *crosses fingers*
mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Window)
For robbing one of the will to go to work. At all. Ever again.

I didn't get the floor washed, which I wanted to do this morning. Hopefully I'll be able to do that before people get here tonight.

If I'm lucky, it won't rain in the afternoon, that way we can sit in the garden. That way I won't have to subject the poor early-comers of Random Colour to my poor housekeeping skills.

I just haven't had time over the past few days (okay, a good while now) to get down on my hands and knees and scrub properly. I can keep my place clean, generally speaking, if not tidy. I can never, ever make a believable claim to tidiness. But cleanliness I can usually manage. Right now, however, my floor is in no fit state for company.

Maybe if I rush home from work I'll be able to get it clean before they get here.

:::looks out window:::

Hey, my morning visitor is here! The little-brown-bird-who-isn't-a-sparrow, that is. He (could be a she, for all I know, with that colouring) lands on the railing to the balcony around the same time every morning and drives the cats ballistic.

Heh. I rather like him.

And now I have to get ready for work. I can't even call in sick today, because the other receptionist has the day off in order to move. Bleah.


mousme: A view of a woman's legs from behind, wearing knee-high rainbow socks. The rest of the picture is black and white. (Default)

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